“If You Are Dealing With a Cheating Spouse
and Are Committed to Saving Your Marriage, There Is Hope!”
The sooner you act to stop the affair,
the better chance you have of reconciliation.
With each day you wait, the worse it's going to get.

Monday, 5:43 PM CDT
From the Desk of Jeffrey D. Murrah, LPC
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Dear Friend,

If you were recently hit with the devastating news that your spouse is cheating - or you suspect that they are - you are in emotional shambles and in a place far from your comfort zone. It feels as if your heart has been torn from your chest. As you pick up what pieces of your life that you can, you have many doubts and fears. All these swirling emotions make it difficult for you to think clearly, or even get out of bed in the mornings.

Just at the time when it is critical that you think clearly, there is not enough of you. You are drained emotionally, spiritually and mentally.

You are in unfamiliar territory, uncharted waters. Being in this situation is definitely a crisis. I hate that you have to go through this. It's even more painful that you have to go through much of it alone.

Just at the time you need direction and comfort from your spouse, they are not there for you. Just like a lost child, you feel overwhelmed, bewildered, scared and confused. Why is this happening to you? Where do you go from here? What do you do? Why?... Why?

Although excruciatingly painful, you can get through this. Yes, we know it hurts, but there are ways to ease the pain. Why did he do it? Doesn't she care? What about the children? How dare he!

You've been the partner you need to be... attentive, loving, supportive. Why wasn't it enough? Why weren't you enough?

You've got questions - lots of them. Your feelings go from intense anger at them to beating up and berating yourself.

It feels as if you've been sucker punched; you can't wake from a bad dream; like you're going insane. We know... it's agonizing.

So we have to ask... Are you tired of feeling like this?

You're in the right place if you:

* are reeling from the heart-wrenching effects of an affair
* are tired of the pain
* are desperate to create a better relationship with your partner
* are feeling emotionally bankrupt
* are questioning if you'll ever be able to trust anyone again

If you find yourself in the difficult place of trying to deal with your partner's affair, here's what I want you to know:

There IS a way to cope with your cheating spouse.

If you dream of the days when you can...

• laugh with your spouse again
• have fun with each other
• go for evening walks together
• go to bed without fighting
• plan for the future together
• go out to dinner without fear of confrontation
• make love again without wondering what went on 'with them'...

You can!

Recent statistics show that 1 in 4 married men and 1 in 10 married women admit to having an affair. And it's the ongoing emotional and physical relationships that affect marriage most profoundly. But it's quite possible to recover from the infidelity with an even stronger and more honest relationship than you had before the affair!

My name is Jeffrey D. Murrah and I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Certified Medical Psychotherapist.

For the past two-and-a-half decades, I've specialized in helping couples overcome the devastating effects of extramarital affairs at my family and couples counseling practice in Texas.

I feel truly blessed to have been able to help thousands of couples go from absolute hopelessness and the brink of divorce to healing, trust, and renewed intimacy.

(Even when they flat out told me reconciliation was NOT possible.)

After 26 years of counseling men and women who find themselves in the exact same situation that you are in now, I can tell you this with absolute certainty:

If you choose to stay in your relationship, the next steps you take will make ALL the difference in how quickly you heal yourself from this truly devastating situation...

The Important Next Steps in Dealing With A Cheating Spouse

For most people, finding out that your partner has had an affair is like being in a bad dream that you can't seem to wake up from.

Chances are your feelings are swirling.

One moment, you feel intense anger... the next you're beating yourself up and berating yourself... the next moment you feel nothing.... and then you find yourself missing him or her and wondering if things could ever go back the way they could be.

It's important to know that finding out that your partner has had an affair plays on the deepest, most primal fears a human being has: fear of abandonment, fear of loss, fear of not being good enough.

The first important step to processing your feelings and regaining a sense of control over your emotions is knowing and accepting that your physical pain, anxiety attacks and crippling depression does NOT mean you are going crazy.

In fact, these emotions are very human and very normal - and they are actually necessary for your recovery and healing!

It's normal and natural and healthy to react with anger when someone has hurt you.

But there is something you need to ask yourself...

The Question You Need to Answer for Yourself Right Here and Right Now

There is no doubt - life has handed you a raw deal.

Your partner has had an affair. And no matter what was happening in your marriage at the time, this is a choice that he or she made - and now YOU are left to deal with the gut-wrenching consequences.

Many of the men and women I've counseled tell me they feel as though the pain and despair feels unbearable, truly agonizing, and unlike anything they've ever felt before.

But right now, you have a question to answer for yourself...

How are you going to handle this situation right here and right now?

If you choose to stifle your feelings and shove them down or ignore them in an effort to cope... if you choose to run away from the situation... if you refuse to communicate with your partner about what has happened... you are only doing long term damage to yourself.

I implore you - don't allow these emotions to fester and build up scar tissue around your heart, scar tissue that will drip pain, resentment, and disappointment into your life forever like a defective faucet.

I've seen what this kind of damage can do over time, and I don't want that for anyone.

Instead, I urge you to take a different approach...

To give yourself the gift of a proven step-by-step cheating recovery program that will help you understand and process your emotions... and cleanse you of your feelings of worthlessness, confusion, and resentment... and regain a sense of personal power as quickly as possible.

After Helping Thousands of Couples Navigate
the Emotional Fall Out of A Cheating Spouse, I Soon Realized Something Crucially Important...

While the details of extramarital affairs vary from couple to couple, there is a series of essential steps that - if taken in the right sequence - will help you ACCELERATE the emotional healing and recovery process.

In the years since then, I've successfully taken thousands of couples through How to Cope With a Cheating Spouse, and it's helped to steer them out of despair and towards emotional health and happiness QUICKLY time and time again.

And this is the helping hand I'd like to offer to you now.

The Step-by-Step Cheating Recovery System PROVEN to Accelerate the Healing Process By Months, Even YEARS

How to Cope With a Cheating Spouse is a one-of-a-kind guide in which I've laid out each step of my tried and tested affair recovery system that I've used for decades to help people just like you through some of the darkest days of their lives.

Inside this 64-page Instant Download you'll discover the precise steps necessary to cope with your powerful emotions, heal your wounded heart, and even heal your relationship if you choose to salvage it.

Regardless of whether you choose to go through How to Cope With a Cheating Spouse with your spouse or on your own...

This Proven Step-by-Step System is the
"Life Line" You've Been Praying For

There are several reasons why people just like you choose not to go into couples counseling to deal with the fall out from one person's affair.

Sometimes one partner wants to go but the other doesn't.

Other times a couple isn't sure if they want to save their marriage, and they mistakenly believe that counselors like me are only here to try and force them to stay together.

Some simply can't afford private counseling that runs upwards of $200 per hour...

Or they feel too proud to seek it out even though they are immersed in one of the most challenging, emotionally suffocating experiences of their lives!

I've witnessed first hand the prolonged devastation and depression that people go through trying to deal with the crisis of an extramarital affair on their own...

And I don't want "I can't afford it" or "I need to protect my pride" to stop YOU from getting access to the kind of quality guidance and support that is so PIVOTAL in helping you move through this painful experience and onwards towards emotional health and happiness.

That's why I've decided to offer you the opportunity to get How to Cope With a Cheating Spouse, the exact same steps I've developed and used in my private couples counseling practice for the past 26 years, for the low one-time investment of just $27.

BONUS: For a limited time, I will include my special report, Answers to Tough Questions about Affairs with your purchase. I have taken the hard questions I am most often asked and answered them in this report.

• Why wasn't I enough?
• Why do single women actively seek married men?
• How do I kill the feelings of a forbidden love affair?
• Why do some men cheat if their wife is doing what she is supposed to?
• Who are they having an affair with?
• The wrong questions to ask
• Making Excuses: The President and the Preacher
• Lies or Denial?
• Should I spy on him/her?
• Is he/she really cheating? (Includes the GUT test)
• Why do some men cheat? (Includes the CHEAT test)
• Making Money from the Affair: Who Rakes in the Bucks?
• Getting Back Together: Who should make the first move?

By far the most commonly asked question is... Is he/she really cheating? You may feel your partner is cheating in your gut, but you don't have proof. Here are some things to consider:

What is really going on?

When something is wrong in a relationship or marriage, it is important to take inventory of what is really going on. What do you factually know?. Since even the possibility of infidelity often has strong emotions associated with it, it is important to proceed with caution.

motions have a way of distorting memories and events. Separate out what are facts, what are feelings and what are the assumptions. You will want to keep these areas separated. Making accusations based on assumptions is dangerous. Assuming someone is cheating before there is any evidence can lead to problems with trust in the relationship. Accusations of unfaithfulness have a way of damaging the trust in a relationship.

Take inventory of what is actually going on in terms of relationship dynamics, distancing and disloyalty. Are they avoiding you? Do they maintain a physical distance? Do they devote more attention to other women than to you? Do they make jokes about adultery or divorce? Are they spending less and less time with you? Although these are not signs of infidelity, they are signs that problems exist in the relationship. There are often signs of changes in how people think about infidelity prior to an affair occurring.

What do you know and how do you know it?

Since changes in thinking and behavior often go hand in hand, looking for changes in how he thinks about affairs can be an early clue. Popular programming like "Desperate Housewives" and "Swingtown" make affairs and infidelity look more appealing. Such programming like these work like commercials in selling a product to consumers.

Before you make accusations, you will need to be clear as to what you experiencing and what it is based upon. Is it based on actual records? Is it based on actually seeing him (not just someone that could have been him). Is there a pattern to your evidence?

What do you know?

Begin with the facts of what you do know. Look at the evidence that exists concerning what is wrong. Is there clear evidence that something is going on? Often how a man spends his money and time provide indications concerning the possibility of an affair. When there is evidence, tell yourself the truth about it. There may be an affair, yet it may not be an intentional rejection of you. Consider possible alternative explanations. Examine the possibility of health problems, emotional problems or other issues that may be contributing to what is going on. Affairs are often associated with head traumas. There may also be a sexual addiction that are driving their actions. Your spouse may be looking for a "fix" to their addiction rather than a rejection of you. Sexual addictions are serious matters that need professional attention.

How do you know?

When you know something is wrong, what is it based on? Making decisions based solely on the suggestion of friends or your own fears is never a good basis for decision making. With the popular media containing many stories of adultery, it often occurs that those storylines take root in our minds.

Popular culture often numbs us our concerning listening to our bodies, and more specifically our gut. Consider what your gut tells you about what is going on. Consider how often your gut reactions have led you astray.

What to look for:

If the evidence indicates there is infidelity and the 'gut test' indicates infidelity, then you may want to look for things. (The gut test refers to when you check things out you're your gut, or inner feelings). Since humans tend to be creatures of habit, one of the places to start is in the area of his habits. When infidelity is occurring, there are changes made in the routine in order to accommodate the affair. Affairs require a commitment of time and money. The theologian, Oswald Chambers noted that how a man spends his time and money will tell you his values and priorities. With this in mind, look for changes in your man's patterns and priorities.

The "Gut" Test

• Examine his patterns of behavior or daily routine
• Look for any changes in laundry or hygiene habits
• Look at phone records
• Look at charge records
• Look at computer records
• Look for changes in musical or art preferences
• Look for changes in church attendance or theology
• Look for any extra changes of clothes he takes to work
• Smell him and his clothing for any unusual scents
• Look for any changes in his friends or family covering for him
• Listen for any changes in his talking in his sleep
• Note any change in your sexual activity with him
• Listen for any changes in how he talks and refers to you

Since adulterers often leave clues, it would difficult for any man to be able to cover all his bases during an affair. Freud once said (paraphrase) that 'a person can not not communicate'. There will always be a clue or behavioral communication concerning changes in his life.

This is just a sample of what you'll get in this free report. You'll get the rest of the answers immediately upon purchase.

The Next Steps You Take Will Determine
How Quickly You Heal Your Heart...

So to recap, with this program you will

• no longer torture yourself with the "what if" questions (see Chapter 4)
  
  
• know whether to call a treatment facility, a private investigator, a counselor or the divorce lawyer with our proprietary CHEAT test (see the bonus report)
  
  
• begin to enjoy spending time with your spouse again (see Chapter 9)
  
  
• stop fighting the same fights by knowing what to say and what not to say (See Chapter 3)
  
  
• stop taking the blame and stop making excuses for your spouse's choice to have the affair (see Chapter 5)
  
  
• learn how to stop the fantasies behind the cheating (see Chapter 8)
  
  
• learn how and when it's appropriate to forgive - forgiveness doesn't mean what they did was okay! (see Chapter 11)
  
  
• learn when and how much to tell your kids about the affair (see Chapter 13)
  
  
• learn how to turn this crisis where eveyrthing is outside of your control, to an opportunity to take control over your emotions, thoughts and actions regarding the affair (see Chapter 1)

Whether you want to save your marriage or not, what you need during a time like this is a system to help ground you, be your rock, and guide you through the crucial next steps you need to cope with your feelings, protect your emotional well-being, and communicate with your spouse.

How to Cope With a Cheating Spouse contains my 26+ years of experience in what WORKS when it comes to making sense of your powerful emotions, accelerating your healing process, and my step-by-step guide to healing your relationship if you choose.

Don't do this alone. I implore you - let me help you navigate the sea of your emotions and soothe the pain you're feeling now.

Give yourself the gift of a proven system that I guarantee will steer you towards emotional healing and happiness.

Yes, I am ready to get out of the pain! Send me a copy of How to Cope With a Cheating Spouse now. For a limited time we'll give you FREE our Coping with a Cheating Spouse Companion Workbook AND our guide, How to Protect Your Children in an Affair PLUS you'll get this 27-page bonus report, Answers to Tough Questions About Affairs   only $27.00 you will receive a download link in your inbox for How to Cope With a Cheating Spouse immediately upon purchase

To your well-being,

Jeffrey D. Murrah, LMFT

From: Jeffrey D. Murrah
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Houston, Texas

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