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Once trust is gone or damaged, rebuilding it is challenging. Although a marriage can be damaged with as few as one bad choice or bad act, rebuilding trust is not so easily or simply accomplished. There is no silver bullet or one quick fix thing that you can do to repair the damage of disloyalty. Assuming there is a quick fix is “magical thinking”.  The fairy in childhood stories changes everything with one touch of the wand. Real life is not like that. Believing that that one touch or one magic moment will change everything back to where it was is a fairy story. There may be a special moment where you spouse is willing to allow you to make it right, but that is only the invitation, it is not the actual work of repairing the damage. I spell out specific steps needed to rebuild the trust in the tape series “Affair Triage”. There are specific actions than can be taken, which with consistency will in the course of time repairs the damage. Until you are ready to take those steps, one first needs to recognize and accept that the quick fix pixie dust for healing a marriage does not exist. It is not found pre-packaged at the marriage counselor’s office, nor is it to be found on a cruise or special weekend out. Those things may rekindle romance, but that is not the same as repairing what has been damaged.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah

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