One of the effects of an affair is that it freezes the emotional distance existing between the partners . Like a freeze frame, whatever distance existed is cemented in place. It is overcoming this distance that is one of the big challenges involved in surviving an affair. Once that distance is bridged, then intimacy can be re-established. Overcoming this distance requires on-going effort at chipping away at it. Although the natural tendency is to avoid anything that hurt us and to keep our distance, if you wish to survive the affair, you may have to tell yourself that re-establishing intimacy is a higher priority than your personal comfort. Recall that the pursuit of personal comfort and personal gratification that created this mess in the first place. Although it is scary, it is worth the effort of overcoming the distance.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
