Archive for May, 2007
“How can I forgive my partner?” is a question that is often asked. This question often arises during the times of emotional pain and self-pity. On the surface, it looks like an honest question. A deeper look at it reveals something more. In asking such a question, the person posing the question has already assumed […]
In perusing through resource materials, it seems that a majority of the sites available take the approach that the husband had the affair. In terms of statistics, there are more cases where the men have affairs than the women. What is unsettling about that is that most sites automatically assume that it is the husband […]
Although I could have elaborated on each of the areas involved in overcoming affairs, I have kept them simple. I know when people are hurting, they need simple answers. In the last of this series, I will address the final part of what is needed in re-building intimacy. That final part is “time”. It will […]
Commitment is a sensitive issue in the aftermath of an affair. The resolute partner often questions whether or not the adulterous partner is actually serious about their relationship. There may be a series of ‘testing’ that occurs. The testing is about discovering if the partner is all talk or is there a serious commitment to […]
Although the first few installments addressing intimacy seem like common sense, many people have not done those basics. If you have done those basics, then you can advance to the next stage. This one concerns commitment. Trust only develops in relationships where there is a commitment to the relationship and the partner. There can be […]
Another key part of re-establishing trust is “communication”. This sounds simple, yet I am amazed at how many couples do not make time for talking and being with each other. If you are not making time for talking with each other, there is little likelihood that the relationship is going to improve. You partner will […]
Assuming that you and your partner have discussed what trust means to each of you, you can now address other trust related issues. The first of these is honesty. There are several key ingredients to trust, and honesty is one of them. It is going to be important to be honest with your partner. Admit […]
Once a couple decides to do something about the distance in their relationship, the next challenge is “How?” How do we rebuild the intimacy? In the next series of posts, I will address this topic, a little at a time. One of the first issues in rebuilding intimacy is re-establishing trust.
First you and your partner […]
One of the effects of an affair is that it freezes the emotional distance existing between the partners . Like a freeze frame, whatever distance existed is cemented in place. It is overcoming this distance that is one of the big challenges involved in surviving an affair. Once that distance is bridged, then intimacy can […]
Although there are many searches for information on children and affairs, there are questions that are often not looked at that need attention. One of those is the motivation for asking such questions. When the question is asked prior to the affair, it could be indicative of someone considering an affair. When it is asked […]
