Although revenge sounds like something that will reduce the tension, it like divorce creates more problems than it solves. When people honestly look at their motivations for their behaviors in the aftermath of an affair, many actions are driven by revenge pure and simple. Divorce, paybacks, compensating affairs, pilfering property and destruction of property are all manifestations of revenge.  If you do exercise the revenge  feelings, what will they accomplish. You may feel relieved for having done something to inflict pain, but what has it accomplished other than bringing yo some selfish relief and inflicting pain? Consider the question, “Will this help?”. If what you are planning to do will not help the situation, it is not something that you will be in you best interest or in the best interest of your marriage. “Will it help the marriage?” If it does not help the marriage, it is likely to be destructive to the marriage. If you are seeking to recover from the affair, destructive acts are something that you want to avoid.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah

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