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In the movies, the lifestyle of someone who is a divorcee or involved in an affair is often portrayed as exciting or even glamorous. Movies such as “91/2 Weeks” create images that are very different than reality. In the movies the main characters always seem to resolve their crisis or issue within the two hour span spent watching it. The reality is that it takes much longer.  Time often seems to crawl and the pain of what occurred seems to never go away. The questions are endless, even when no one is activley asking you questions, they continue in your head.

A movie line that often brings a smile to my face is one from “Kelly’s Heroes” , where the character (Oddball) portrayed by Donald Sutherland comments that he wants his tank to be able to get out of situations as fast as it go into them. If only real life were like that, where we could reverse ourselves out of sticky situations. The reality of affairs is that you can not reverse out of those sticky situations so easily or quickly. It is best to avoid them altogether.

Now that you are in it, you may want to consider the question “How did I…“. By considering ‘how‘ you got stuck, you can begin to see how to remove yourself from the sticky situation you are in. It will not happen fast, but rather than beat yourself up with ‘why’,changing the question to ‘how’ will help you find your way out.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah

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