Archive for December, 2007
This is one of those questions which is more profound that initially seen. The short answer to this question is no. The long answer is that the infidel is often looking for any excuse they can. They may blame family, their upbringing, etc. They still made the choice for their actions. Although they made the […]
Have you ever considered why people use the term “affairs” in referring to their marital unfaithfulness? By using the term ‘affair’, the action is turned into a business transaction. The term removes emotional baggage and guilt often associated with ‘infidelity’, ‘unfaithfulness’, and ’sleeping around’. The increased use of the term is related to people trying […]
Affairs have often been a risk associated with military service. The dynamics behind military affairs are myriad. Some of my comments on the unique stresses associated with military marriages was cited in a recent article on divorce360.com.
Among the issues to deal with are the effects of co-ed military units, the authority structure (relationships involving power […]
Do you like lawyers? This is a key question if you are entertaining the prospect of a divorce, especially if children are involved. When you pursue the divorce option, you can rest assured that lawyers will be a major part of your life for several years. Your money will go to pay them for several […]
Katie Couric took the initiative of asking the major presidential candidates their views on infidelity. She used the quote by President Truman, that “A man not honorable in his marriage relations is not usually honorable in any other” . After suing this lead in, she asks them their views on the statement. The candidates managed […]
Besides pain, confusion in the aftermath of an affair another major obstacle is overcoming the confusion. Confusion comes about when we loose our reference points. Much like a person feels lost in a new city until they obtain some reference points, the same process can occur in relationships. The answer is to re-establish ones reference […]
The holidays have a way of increasing the intensity of the pain associated with an affair. They also have the potential of increasing the the ways of coping with the pain as well. The holidays provide many opportunities to overcome the pain. There is a wonderful book that has some gems in terms of coping […]
One of the risks of sexual activity is pregnancy. This is part of the baggage that goes with affairs. Pregnancy related to an affair is a thorny issue. Resolution of such a thorny issue requires love, understanding and forgiveness. When pregnancy occurs, it makes the affair situation even more challenging, especially when the child is […]
The expression, “You made me do it!” may sound plausible, but it is not honest. This statement does not show any acceptance of responsibility. All it does is shift blame. Sadly, some people fall for it. I recall back in college, when a room mate was fighting with his girlfriend, he exclaimed, “Tell me what […]
Secrets and affairs go hand in hand life peanut butter and jelly. Even once the affair is discovered, oftentimes the fascination with secrets goes on for a while. Secrets are exciting and have their own kind of thrill. Breaking the cycle of an affair also includes breaking the cycle of secret activities. There is an […]
