Archive for December, 2007
Affairs are a matter of life and death. People often forget that the feelings aroused are powerful and illogical. Since the passions aroused are intense, there is always the possibility of them turning destructive. The potential of violence lies within the couple and the paramour. For this reason, it is not wise to intentionally provoke […]
Making sense out of affairs is challenging at best. To start off, there is no one truth other than the affair happened. There are the truths or realities of the resolute spouse, the infidel and the paramour. From each perspective things look very different. The more one is able to see (seeing does not mean […]
One of the scars of an affair is the damage it does to self-confidence. People who were once sure fo themselves now question almost every aspect of their lives. Since an affair impacts people on a personal level, the very foundation of their identity and confidence is shaken. Affairs have a way of robbing people […]
Many times an affair is trivialized by the infidel, who claims, “it was no big deal”. Even when presented with the events, they will respond with “so, it was not a big deal”, or “you are making a big deal over nothing!”. What you are seeing is a window into the mental somersaults they are […]
Amidst the confusion in the aftermath of an affair, things become confused. There is often a fog in the brain when it comes to thinking and seeing things clearly. This effects many areas of one’s life, including when it comes to selecting friends. During this ‘foggy’ time, selecting friends can become a daunting task. Below […]
In the aftermath of an affair, it seems that much like the vultures circle around a dying animal, suitors seem to circle around what they suspect is a dying marriage. There will be offers to “go out” or “get together”. The suitors do not call it a date, since that would be too intimidating, so […]
Struggling through an affair can turn a joyous season into a living nightmare. All the reminders of previous Christmas celebrations seem to add to the pain of what happened. It is easy to become overwhelmed in the pain of “what you lost”. To maintain your sanity and composure, you will need to create new meanings […]
In the aftermath of an affair, there is often more action taking place in a person’s head than is occurring in ‘real life’. The scenes of what happened play over and over. The scenarios of what could happen play out with slight adjustments each time. These dramas seem to have a longer life than a […]
Dealing with pain is not easy. When one is in pain, the focus of their attention is drawn to the pain. The thoughts running through their mind are to hurt those who hurt them. When we experience a personal attack, our first reaction is often to attack back. Since the attack is personal, it arouses […]
In exploring the news, I came across an article addressing marriage from an angle I had never considered. Researchers are finding that divorce is bad for the environment. Since it is bad for the environment, those couples needing a new perspective will find it from this angle. So not only does God hate divorce, so […]
