Archive for February, 2008
In dealing with the subject of surviving infidelity an issue needing attention is that of traumatic bonds. Traumatic bonding occurs when a person develops an attachment to people who are dangerous to themselves. Within an affair situation, traumatic bonding can occur between the infidel and their paramour or between the spouses. When such bonding occurs, […]
“Homewrecker”. The word is used to label the other man or woman caught up in the drama triangle of an affair. The label is used to stigmatize that person, blame them for the destruction of the family and make them an outcast. This scenario is all too common. The reality is that they are not […]
When the ambivalence hits after an affair, some people assume that something is wrong with them. They wonder if it is normal to have feelings of love and hate (or loathing, disgust, revulsion) at the same time. It is normal to feel torn and have mixed feelings. Emotions do not follow the same rules as […]
The power of myths is part of what creates more damage with adultery than their needs to be. There are many myths about infidelity that only serve to confuse, blame and avoid the real issues. Some of the major myths that create problems are:
1. Everyone is Faithful. The truth is that some people are not […]
One of the many areas damaged by Parent Alienation is that the extended family of the alienated spouse is vilified. The programming that was done to create friction between the child/children and the alienated spouse spreads like a bad case of fleas. These ‘hate fleas’ infect anyone associated with the alienated spouse. They infest their […]
Couples dealing with affairs could learn a few lessons from military history. When one nation breaks the secret code of another nation, they often do not disclose knowing the code, so that they can find out more. Although Hollywood often portrays affairs as spontaneous and spur of the moment events. Many times they are not […]
Wow! That was my reaction to this article in the student oriented press (Can Hillary Care Cure Infidelity?). The author John Lillpop poses the question of whether Hillary’s healthcare plans will include ways to deal with sexual addiction. Given that the Presidential candidate has had to struggle with a sexual addiction in her own home, […]
Questions about people’s views on infidelity were included in juror question in Orange County California. Although many people assume that one’s views on infidelity are just between the spouses in the bedroom, the reality is that one’s views on adultery do influence how people see the world. besides influencing how people see the world, it […]
In the heat of a couple’s arguments, you might hear them spewing out words that do not seem to make sense. Except for the rings that they wear, you might think that they are enemies in the midst of a heated discussion. If they simply slow down and put themselves in the shoes of their […]
One of the questions that arises in dealing with affairs is that of denial. I have written about whether one is dealing with denial or lying on my hub page. The aspect of denial that I will address today is how strong can denial be? There are many levels of denial. At it’s strongest, denial […]
