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It is very difficult to go through an affair. The stress and trauma in dealing with an affair can be life-changing and may introduce profound changes in the perceptions and life of the spouse whose partner had an affair.

Before moving on with the path of healing and wholeness, it is necessary to differentiate forgiveness from reconciliation. Reconciliation means that both you and your spouse are willing to work in rebuilding a relationship that has recently undergone an affair. With reconciliation, you try to look for common grounds and ties so that you can smooth out differences and repair your relationship.

Reconciliation is built upon the notion of forgiveness, which is a conscious decision of the victim to lay down his or her claims on the matter. It is a decision involving the grant of amnesty to the other person. Rebuilding marriage, however, should not stop at forgiveness only. Why? Because it is possible for you to forgive someone without working towards reconciliation.

Trust then rests on the possibility of reconciliation. When both parties reconcile, they are exerting efforts and are working towards the resolution of conflict and affirm their marriage vows. The process of rebuilding trust therefore should be built on forgiveness and on a firm commitment to the marriage.

affair, cheating, infidelity, marriage, marriage counseling, Understanding Affairs, unfaithfulness

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