If there’s one thing gets lost with an affair—that is the connection between you and your partner. The connection that says you love each other as husband and wife. An affair naturally puts a wedge between you and your partner. The spirit of oneness in the marriage has been damaged. If you are willing, you can put the affair behind you and start anew. After all, such kind of testing can strengthen love if you will allow it.
Yet, after the affair, you might have noticed that there is a marked difference in your married life. Ask yourself where the intimacy has gone, and where your marriage is headed to. The only answer is that you have lost the connection that binds a husband and wife together. That connection is part of the spirit of oneness or sense of connectedness.
Bringing back such connection is not your job. Nor is it your partner’s. It is a joint effort, which you should undertake. In the early stages of the affair, you might have displayed emotional independence and strength. Yet, that kind of independence will have to make way to vulnerability and dependence on your partner. If you will both come to the conclusion that you are supporting each other, then the connection will slowly start coming back to your married life. It takes time, but as you continue depending on each other, you’ll see the connection back.
The more emotions you share with each other and the more experiences the two of you share, the greater the capacity for the connectedness.
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