The Emotions of Your Spouse while Rebuilding Your Marriage
After the discovery of the affair, you and your spouse are still reeling from the effects of that traumatic experience. As such, it’s necessary to start talking about your situation and trying to minimize the damage to your marriage.
Rebuilding your marriage is not impossible when the both of you are committed to each other. Commitment is essential in recovery.
Another essential is the rebuilding of each of your emotions. The hurt occurred in relationship and the healing will happen in relationship.
Part of the rebuilding includes validating each other and what each of you feel. Even when you don’t understand things or like what you hear, they still need you and your attention.
One of the best ways of starting the rebuild is hearing them out without interruption. Once you hear them out, validate the emotions you hear.
You’ll also hear what their emotional needs are. Find ways of meeting each others emotional needs (e.g. the need for feeling valued, feeling secured, etc.).
In terms of sexual needs, that takes longer and has different dynamics.
In emotionally hearing out and validating what their feeling, you’re in effect saying that you love your spouse and that he or she deserves the best treatment from you.
These emotional needs vary. But the most general ones are the need to feel loved.
In the simplest ways, you should show your love and support to your spouse. This is one way of preventing affair relapse.
When you’re satisfied with each other, and able to resolve conflicts with each other, it means that the possibility of affair is reduced.
Knowing each other for many years doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve got each other figured out. Marriage is a continuous process of discovery and knowing.
As such, you also need to discover ways to introduce surprise into your relationship. Such surprises can help keep the magic in your relationship.
If you have not truly paid attention to the emotions of your spouse before the affair, you should now. Being sensitive to emotions will be a great help in rebuilding a marriage.
So if you are looking forward to rebuilding your marriage, you have to train your eyes, your ears and your sense to detect minute changes in your spouse’s emotions so that you would know how to deal with such emotional needs.
Best Regards,
Jeff
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