What do you really want?

In the aftermath of an affair, it is critical to know what your main goal is. Many times couples confuse the goals and it creates a mess. Do you want to get back with your spouse or do you want to prove them wrong? Many times the goals people are after are exclusive. In this case you can prove your partner is wrong or that they cheated or that they deserved what happened to them but that will do little to restore the relationship. If you want to restore the relationship or heal it, such divisive issues become moot.  If you want your wife or husband back does it make a difference that their nose is rubbed in the affair or reasons for the affair?

Knowing what you want the most is going to be important in picking and choosing which confilicts to engage in. Engaging them in a relationship will leave them vulnerable. Once they are vulnerable, it is not the time to launch into them and attack them. Consider what your goal is and adjust your efforts in the direction of that goal.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

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