Archive for February, 2009
If you want to be notified the next time I write something, sign up for email alerts or subscribe to the RSS Feed. Thanks for reading. Many people run to their churches, synagogues and other faith-based institutions after the occurrence of an affair. At these places, they often find comfort and support. When these […]
In the aftermath of an affair, parents often do many things which they think will help with adjustment to what went down. Many times the motives for the actions they take are noble. The actions taken often have good intentions. Although the intentions are good, the impact is often disastrous. Some parents remove or reduce […]
In dealing with affairs, I have realized that there are often three major scars of damage inflicted in the course of an affair. The first scar or damage is that inflicted by the affair itself. The second occurs in conjunction with the discovery and hiding of the affair. The third concerns how the family deals […]
One of the blow-off lines often used by family members to silence discussions about affairs and their impact is the question, “Isn’t it time to put that behind you?” By using this technique the adulterers avoid serious discussion of the issues related to the affair. I have seen this technique used for years to put […]
The affair between Chandra Levy and Congressman Gary Condit was big news after her murdered body was found. The cloud of suspicion that hung over the Congressman associated with the affair was enough to force him to retire from office and find a new life selling ice cream in Arizona. Although the Congressman had nothing […]
Statements such as “I hate holidays!” is common in families that have been touched by affairs. Affairs have a way of turning holidays into times of conflict and pain. The old loyalties to family members are fragmented. The children find themselves having to accept people and situations they may not like. Since they love their […]
Affairs often force children into situations that they would have never chosen. When affairs are underway, the circumstances often force children into awkward meetings with the lover and their family. Although the adulterer often entertains fantasies about how smoothly their children will adjust, and how they will fit in, the reality is often very different […]
A common phrase used to dismiss the concerns of children and others who express disapproval of affairs is “It’s between adults”. Yes the affair does occur between people who are physically adults. What is often not seen is how the affair will impact the children and those other people who make up the social world […]
When people have affairs, they often do not consider the impact it will have on their children, their parents, and even their grand children. The impact is often minimized and rationalized with such comments as “They will understand”. When such comments are used, the purpose is to excuse the guilt. Although the adulterer tells themselves […]
Valentine’s Day is a day that can be a boon or a bane to lovers. The day offers opportunities to make up and restore the relationship with your spouse. Spouses are often more open to reconciliation on Valentine’s Day than many other days, unless it has some negative associations with it. Although most people have […]
