Relationships based on lies

Yesterday I considered the blog posts that I have written and realized that there are very few posts focused on the viewpoint of the lover or paramour. Although often ignored, the lover has significant issues in the matter of affairs also. The lover is often pictured as the “bad guy/girl” when in many cases they have been deceived like everyone else had. In some cases, the lover engages in trickery, yet, even in these cases, they are often operating on the limited information provided to them by the adulterer. Since the whole relationship starts with a series of lies from the adulterer and the paramour, it is often difficult to know what “the truth” is.

Besides the lies being told, there is also the problem of changing focus and emotions. What feelings are true in the heat of the moment, may not be true on Wednesday. Since the emotions are always changing and there are lies being exchanged concerning marital status, willingness to commit and honesty it is amazing that anyone can make sense of an affair. The lines between fantasy and reality often blur, especially when couples tend to act out their fantasies. When the lines blur, the quesiton arises as to who is loved, the fantasy lover or the real person?

If you are a lover or paramour, consider the whole basis of your relationship. Can you believe the lies? Can you recognize the lies? The affair is exciting, but is it being built on a foundation of honesty?

Consider these questions before opening and committing your heart to loving the adulterer.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

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