When you are the lover, there is often the sense of feeling like you are an outsider. You may find yourself on the outside looking in. Even though you have a unique relationship with the adulterer, there remains a sense of being ‘left out’. As humans we want to belong, we want to feel a part of things, we want to feel needed. These needs and wants are natural and a normal part of being human.
Although such needs are natural, problems arise when unconventional methods are used to ‘force’ the relationship along. Force is often used to used to ‘make’ the adulterer leave their spouse or make a commitment to you. When force is used in relationships, weather through traps, lies, tricks or deceit, the results creates more problems. The use of force may achieve short term gains, but when a man or woman are in a relationship out of a trap, they are a hostage, not a lover out of choice. Hostages may be entertaining, but they do not make good lovers since their heart is not in what they are doing. You may trap their body, but not have their heart.
A wise statesman once said that any issue resolved by force or in violation of the law (which includes traps and trickery) is never truly resolved (or settled).
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
