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When in comes to dealing with affairs, the public and family do not react the same to all types of affairs. When affairs occur in reaction to ‘severe’ abuse or neglect, there is often more acceptance of what happened than when they occur in other circumstances. Another type of affair that is often viewed as ‘understandable’ are those based on survival. In many ways, the neglect/abuse affairs are also driven by survival as well.

Survival also takes in account when people find themselves engaging in an affair for the survival of themselves or their family. People in such situations often feel desperate and their choices limited. The forced marriages that victims were coerced to be a part of in the crack down on Iranian dissidents woudl fall into this type of situation. There may also be blackmail or some other threat hanging over people’s heads. In such situations, it is often understood that people did what they had to do. Choice was not seen as an option.

When affairs are driven by ‘social affiliation’ there is great disapproval. Such affairs are when someone has an affair to ‘be seen’ or to ‘fit in’.  In such circumstances, the affair and those participating are often seen as either ‘sluts’ or players. The disapproval of social affairs often continues long after the affair occurred. Those involved are often seen as having made ‘bad choices’.

In both the survival affair and the social affiliation affair, the partners cheated. The big differences concern circumstances, motives and choices available at the time. Each situation remains an affair, but the healing process afterward are very different. Those in survival affairs often recover sooner than those whose affair was more about social affiliation.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

affairs of social affiliation, cheating, choice and affairs, survival affairs, Uncategorized