Archive for September, 2009
If you want to be notified the next time I write something, sign up for email alerts or subscribe to the RSS Feed. Thanks for reading. One of the scars associated with affairs is that some people have been surrounded by unhealthy behavior for so long they do not recognize it. With a great […]
Affairs are often the most unfair thing that happens in a persons life. The same standards of behavior do not govern both spouses. In most cases I have seen, the man believes that he has a different standard of expected behavior than does the wife.
Jim had a long history of affairs while he was married. […]
Although viagra (or cialis, etc) do not directly contribute to affairs, they are a factor to consider. The largest sex organ in the human body is the brain. The brain decides what excites and what does not. What this means for couples is that the problem may not be that your spouse no longer does […]
One of the weird aspects of affairs is what I call the “Tamar Effect”.
A story which illustrates this is that of “Wes” and “Charlotte”. Wes had been married. When he met Charlotte, he had to be with her. The intensity of their relationship grew to the point that Charlotte finally gave into to his advances. […]
Although to outsiders, continuing in self-destructive behavior patters is unhealthy, when you are the one caught up in such behaviors, they are not so easy to see. When they are seen, they are often not easy to emotionally leave. Breaking through the denial about such behavior takes work. Working up the courage to take action […]
Carol found herself terrified of being abandoned. The very thought of her husband leaving her shook her to her core. She could not imagine him leaving her. She needed him and panicked whenever she thought that he might leave her. She hated the feelings of panic. They made her feel weak. Even when she tried […]
One of the more tragic affair situations that I have encountered are those where a spouse exploits their partner. The exploitations I have dealt with have run the gamut from letting other people use one’s spouse as in a swingers party to using the sexual favors of one’s wife to pay for the husband to […]
Each of us have old flames in our past. Old flames usually do not pose a problem unless we start fanning the flames. When old flames are fanned, they often bring with them the old feelings that went with them. With the arousal of old emotions, there can be an increased risk of an affair. […]
Although the entertainment industry had worked on making affairs look acceptable by taking the pain and shame out of affairs, the reality is far different than what is portrayed. The movies often show attractive people who manage to either ‘bounce back’ after an affair or manage to make the affair situation work. Either way, it […]
Lies are part of the lifeblood of affairs. At first the excitement of lust energizes the affair. Shortly after the lust, then the excitement of the ‘cover-up’, sneakiness and lies keep the adrenalin flowing and the relationship exciting. Although the cheater often dismisses their lies as ‘well-intentioned’, those who are on the receiving end look […]
