Archive for November, 2009
If you want to be notified the next time I write something, sign up for email alerts or subscribe to the RSS Feed. Thanks for reading. In working with infidelity and relationship issues one factor that I have come across is the differences in opinions that vary from nation to nation. Although some nations […]
Unhealthy thinking and affairs often go hand in hand. Although it is unclear whether the unhealthy thinking comes first or the affair comes first, what is clear is that they often appear together. The unhealthy thinking and affair behavior often feed off one another. In the “Affair Recovery System”, the issue is addressed in more […]
It is darn near impossible to argue with someone who is listening to you. Likewise if you listen, really listen to your spouse, it will be hard for them to start an argument or fight. In the aftermath of an affair, many couples find themselves caught up in attack-defend-let me explain myself mentality rather than […]
Although the question “What’s so bad about sleeping around?” is viewed as a “duh?” type of question in some parts of the county, I recognize that there are many people who actually do not see problems with the practice. There are also some spouses that are caught up in swinging to the point they see […]
When in the midst of an affair, those involved often excuse their behavior. They use any report, claim, suggestion or advice they find to support their actions. During this time, they play up their happiness, even going so far as to say they have a right to be happy. If they were honest, it would […]
Recently I was asked whether married women have affairs. The answer is yes, some do have affairs. The questioner also wanted to know “What percentage of married women have affairs?”. This is a difficult question to provide a concrete answer to. The studies that have been done have reported a wide range of answers. In […]
In dealing with the traumatic damage often inflicted by affairs, spouses often have to face the question “What is my marriage worth?”. Put another way, “What is my spouse worth?”. Although those struggling with the affair may put off facing the question, sooner or later, it must be answered. If not answered at the time […]
When a young child turns to their parent and with tear filled eyes asks “Why did mommy leave us?” it leaves parents stunned. Although affairs hurt the spouses, the damage it inflicts on families and children often last longer than many parents can imagine. Being abandoned by a parent leaves scars. It hurts even worse […]
Obsessions and affairs often found in each others company. It is common for a spouse to obsesses and fantasize about an affair prior to one happening. In many cases, they have to obsess as a way to work up the nerve to initiate the affair. In those cases, there is a discomfort about the affair […]
The emotion filled question “Can my marriage be saved?” is often asked by hurting spouses. My response to their question ranges from heartbroken pain to being appalled. The question is one that seeks for validation and hope regarding their relationship. It is as if those hurting couples are wanting the counselor to give them permission […]
