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Affairs often bring out the childish parts of people and their personalities. One of the children’s games that often occurs is “They have to make the first move”. In this game, the parties keep a tense status quo in their relationship, while each waits on the other to make the first  move. With such a ’stand off’, each party often justifies their position by emphasizing their innocence and the wrongs that were done to them. In situations where they focus on the wrongs they endured, they attempt taking the moral high ground through maintaining self-righteous positions. They believe that they are in the ‘right’ and refuse to make the first move. They often use scripture to justify their position and make them feel good about what they have done. Such actions are a misuse of scripture.

The saying “You can be right or be in relationship” holds the key to these situations. They can spend their energy maintaining their rightness or do what it takes to repair the relationship and improve their marriage. Which do you want to be —being ‘right’ of being back in relationship with your spouse?

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

affairs and self righteousness, cheating and self righteousness, moral high ground and affairs, Rebuilding the relationship, Understanding Affairs

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