My sons made me aware of the term ‘facebook stalking‘. You can’t deal with the issue of stalking without addressing facebook. There are many types of stalking that occurs in conjunction with facebook.
When an affair is suspected, you may find yourself ‘stalking’ the infidel by using facebook. By reading through posts on the wall and other areas of facebook, you’re looking for evidence of what you already suspect.
You can discover old photos, places people have been along with their likes, dislikes and family members. Information that previously you paid dearly to obtain is now readily available.
Another sign that raises suspicions is when you are denied access to the facebook profile or that the suspected spouse has a secondary facebook account. Already facebook is being mentioned in 20% of divorces filed, which is a concerning trend.
Think about that for a moment, 2 out of 10 divorces mention facebook.
Another type is when one spouse is contemplating an affair and begins searching facebook for old flames. Facebook makes connection with old flames or even new ones much easier.
The site began as a way of picking people up and rating them. It’s no surprise that it makes hooking up easier.
The ability to search for people around the world puts old flames within easy reach. Facebook also makes it easy to connect with someone who is looking for action. Although facebook is the social media which is most frequently mentioned, the other social media sites of MySpace, twitter and the like are also popular for people looking for hook-ups.
There are also social media sites totally dedicated to hooking up for ‘discreet’ relations.
There are also those who use the social media sites in stalking their victim for other purposes. Rather than seeking to hook-up, they may be seeking revenge or something else.
Old flames who were obsessive when you knew them may be looking for you or someone you know. People from your past that you wanted to burn bridges with may now be using the social media sites to reconstruct those old bridges.
Information concerning phone numbers addresses, job information are all readily available. It shocked me how easy it was to do such searches.
On a whim, I tested this out by looking up an old girlfriend. I was amazed at how I found her address, phone number, GPS coordinate, photos of her home, information on how many children she had, etc., etc.
Such information may not lead to an affair, although embarrassing and uncomfortable situation may arise from them. Things you thought were locked in the past manage escaping.
I also had the experience of old acquaintances posting questionable old photos. Those photos lead to unpleasant questions arising from social media. Sometimes, the uncomfortable situations and questions are more painful than an affair itself.
Those old embarrassing moments have ways of returning into your life.
In previous generations, past behaviors and acquaintances could be easily forgotten. With the internet, all the information is available depending on a persons ability to know where to look.
This new power is a boon to suspicious spouses looking for evidence and also to wayward spouses looking for hook ups. This new power also means that people will need to be more discreet and realize that they never know who is looking over their shoulders.
If your marriage has been damaged by facebook, now is the time to do something about it. You can start damage control with the video “How Can I Trust You Again?”. Knowing ways of rebuilding trust will help you prevent further damage from facebook stalking.
Best Regards,
Jeff
