One of the dynamics that occurs in troubled relationships is that of the ‘diagnosing husband’. Many husbands resort to diagnosing their wife with mental health labels when they cannot prevail in intellectual arguments.
The practice of diagnosing one’s wife damages the relationship and hurts their wife. It changes the relationship into one where one spouse dominates and controls the other rather than a relationship consisting of a loving wife and husband.
It turns into a physician-patient relationship, except that the physician in this case often doesn’t provide good patient care in terms of encouragement and support. Their bedside manner is often weak or lacking in such cases.
It amazes me how many men have proclaimed themselves experts in mental health issues when their wives disagree with them. Words like borderline, schizophrenic, bipolar and narcissist are used in labeling their wives rather than treating them like spouses.
After talking to a couple of people and reading some articles on the internet, they view themselves as ‘experts’. Never mind that they couldn’t tell you the differences between most of the labels they use.
It’s also concerning that many wives start questioning their own mental health status when the spouse begins slinging out diagnostic labels. Rather than questioning the husband’s ability to make such mental health diagnoses, they instead question whether or not the label fits or explains what they have been experiencing.
It’s easier saying your wife is some kind of crazy than facing the issues surrounding the affair. When a husband affixes a mental health label to their wife, they believe they no longer have to consider what they tell them. Their opinions are dismissed without consideration.
The diagnosing husband takes on extra meanness when there is an affair. Whether the spouse having the affair is the husband or the spouse, the labels are thrown about with greater intensity.
Best Regards,
Jeff
