Valentine’s Day is often when we celebrate love and the many facets of love. One of those facets, which often gets lip service but few want to follow through is that of suffering. None of us want to suffer. It is not something that you desire and want to experience, yet when your spouse suffers for you, somehow it makes it more tolerable.
Affairs definitely brings suffering with it. Everyone touched by the affair suffers. When you are going through the pain of suffering, time moves slowly. You may even begin to question your commitment to the marriage. Somehow the cheating is often seen as a permission to break your vow, since your spouse was not loyal to you. At those times, the ’till death do us part’ section of the wedding vows becomes more like ’till I get tired of you’ or ’till I don’t love you anymore’ or ’till all the fun is gone out of the marriage’. When you are going through suffering, your minds often twists and bends commitments, scripture and things that you read to placate your desires. Your cheating spouse did the same thing with the affair, but somehow when you twist things to justify want ‘out’ of the marriage or just don’t want to work through things, somehow it is seen as being different. Suffering often distorts things.
This Valentine’s Day, you may want to remember your commitments. You may want to remember that emotions can deceive you, and that you really do love your spouse. You may want to let them know that you still love them. You may not like what they have done, but you love them.
You may want to remember that self-help is tough. Going through and affair is tough, and your word…is as good as you make it. When you promise to commit until death do you part, what does it really mean?
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
