When the cheater denies or lies about what they have done or are doing, many of you consider the option of stalking. You may have someone do it for you as in the case of a private detective.
When you have someone do it, there is less guilt since you’re not doing it yourself.
Some of you use gadgets to do your stalking for you. Tracking devices placed in the cheaters car or phone are popular.
There are also keystroke loggers that track what they type on their computer keyboard.
Spy gadgets make stalking much easier than doing it yourself. You may even use the term ‘spying’ or ‘tracking’ instead of stalking because stalking sounds so harsh.
When the cheater discovers the stalking, they react. They accuse you of not trusting them and betrayal and other accusatory attacks.
It’s ironic how they’ll turn the tables and say you don’t trust them, even though they have not trusted you. There is commotion made about the ‘trust’ issue at this point.
Some of you may quickly back down and cower at their accusations. The truth is, you don’t trust them. They have not given you a reason to trust them. They’ve lied or hidden things from you.
If you fall for the trust arguments, you’ll loose ground. In dealing with such situations, you need to change your approach. You may need to tell them that you “are saving their marriage and quite possibly their life.”
It sounds dramatic, but in the possibility of a death occurring related to an affair is real. You did violate their trust, and you had a good reason to do so.
For example, if you neighbor’s house was on fire and their child was inside, do you wait until they allow you to trespass before entering it? NO! Since it is an emergency, the need to preserve life trumps the respect of property rights.
When your marriage is in danger, the emergency of dealing with the affair takes precedence over the trust issues. Yes, you violated trust and you had a reason, a valid reason for doing so.
So, is stalking the cheater OK? When the marriage is at stake—YES!
For other questions about affairs, check out my ebook, “Why Wasn’t I Enough?”. This ebook deals with the most frequently asked questions about affairs, including stalking.
Best Regards,
Jeff
