Although it sounds like a simple thing, you may be surprised at how important those ‘simple things’ are. Take bathing for instance. Keeping yourself clean is one way of making yourself more appealing to your spouse. Neglecting bathing can turn your spouse off. Perhaps one of the things that is turning them off is what you are not doing, like bathing. By going ahead and bathing on a daily basis, you are sending the message that your spouse is important to you and that you want to be your best for them. Neglecting your hygiene send the message that you are more interested in your own comfort than in your spouse. You may not actually feel that way, yet your actions may be proclaiming that message without you realizing it.
Doing simple little things can often prevent major problems. Bathing is not going to keep them from having an affair, but it is one less thing that may be turning them off from you.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
2 Responses
Yes …this is a good mention here. I kept myself in good shape, good appearance, good hygiene, all kinds of development mentally , spiritually , physically and ongoing learning .
My husband turned away due to his concern for what OTHERS thought of our faith, marriage, all moral and godly aspects of life ….family …children …The women he chose to cheat with were decidedly left leaning and extreme at that …part of the changes I noticed were in how his loyalty began to move from GOD and me and our family to others…It was supposed to go the other way and he knew this …understood it
It seems when a person gets too much exposure to others …without concern of consideration for morality all of the good things do not make any difference….Some of those the cheaters choose are the very opposite of cleanliness! Both morally and physically which I believe stems from spiritual darkness and filth.
It did not matter to him any of the things that once mattered….He was enchanted with the reflection of his own future prospects that would occur as he did one small compromise after another to attain his career heights which included showing himself to be ‘just like’ the immoral crowd that he desired to be admired by .
He had EVERYTHING that anyone could have dreamed of having as advantages…looks, brains, education and opportunities his sports ability made available to him that others will never have and he took all of his blessings and laid them down so he could ‘gain’ the admiration of those who really only wanted what they could GET from his life …
Time after time he chose to take someone as his business partner …not looking too deeply into their character and lo and behold EVERY ONE of them turned out to be a liar, a loser and a user….successful even so ….Two men …and later two women …one was the adulteress he had that he then gave this job to …what a STUPID thing to do ..put himself , his career and his family all at risk …for a CON artist …for YEARS bowing to her demands…and even now we all are having finances drained for the children she asked for …but worse…He sleeps upstairs …and walks around hanging his head…and barely able to get along at home…maybe the story is different at work …
But we have all had our head ‘stolen’ because even as he cannot change the past he REFUSES to make the present or future one of a ‘couple ‘ identity ..he has ‘left the building ‘ in terms of this ever being a ‘marriage ‘ as it COULD be …
If I had not witnessed this daily I would never have believed a man who he was could behave this way despite the damage he knows this does to our daughters who live with us …even if he does not mind continuing to steal what was to be the life he promised me and IS capable of fulfilling .
I feel at times that he just learns what would be healing and helpful to me and then does the opposite ..while being such a ‘nice ‘ guy …
Sometimes treating your spouse like just one of your friends can be the cruelest thing of all .
Frankly if he treated friends this way after promising to be whatever a friend is in their understanding I don’t think anyone would remain a friend for long…ALL of those who he has had a true friends are now out of our lives …no connecting with them anymore …for many years now ..since he met and continued his relationship with the OW …SHE really put all of the good things in his life…and OURS …and even effectively mine …to death ….
I realize that sounds dramatic…but I gave and loved giving to my husband for all our marriage but his disconnect….and warehousing me and our children …except when it was rarely convenient for him to do something to keep up appearances …..all of that stole the lives we were supposed to have with him.
I did not get married to GET …I loved to love and give to my husband …and he was great …UNTIL he began to love the world and his corporate ladder climbing cohorts more …and that was the death of his love for all things moral and worthwhile in life.
Now he lives to pay the bills …and to make sure the OW “S children have someone that they know will watch out for them in terms of the OW ‘s behavior ….Our daughters have stated little except one time they said that they feel like ‘second class citizens’ in their father’s world …HOW sad is that …they are both beautiful godly young women ….morally sound…. sad their father does not care enough about learning how he might change his ways to really be genuinely demonstrating active healing and repentance …instead of his faint effort that is suitable to himself ….AGAIN.
Zaza,
Living to pay the bills does not say much about quality of life or enjoying the marriage that he has.