In watching the recent news regarding the earthquake in Costa Rica, I was reminded that there are times that the secondary dangers of things like landslides/mudslides are also life threatening. Likewise, the affair, which is the most visible danger is not the only threat to your marriage. The weakening of the values and attacks on marriage through the media also pose a threat. While you are busily concerned with the cheater, there are some who want to sneak in the back door and undermine your marriage. They want to weaken the foundations on which your marriage is built. Like termites, they work at weakening any foundation based on Biblical principles or Godly behavior. While you are busy with other items, these threats are busy working at attacking your values, and the foundations of your marriage. When the foundation is destroyed, there is nothing left to build with. These threats are working to redefine what ‘marriage’ is and what ‘a family’ is. In redefining marriage and family, they are weakening the foundation of your marriage. So as you watch shows like “the new normal” realize that while you are laughing, your marriage is being weakened and you are the one being mocked. Bear in mind that one of the stars has been outspoken in her hatred of those with pro-family values, wishing that those who hold such values were dead. They are laughing as your marriage falls apart so that cheaters can love ‘whoever they want’ and indulge in whatever whim they desire.
The threats to your marriage come from both the earthquakes AND the mudslides.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
One Response
More landslides tonight. My husband came in and I asked him how he was and eventually as I prepared dinner …I asked if there was something on his mind that he wished to speak with me about . He said that he did and he had wanted to talk something over with me but he did not want an argument which he felt there might be but he had had to make some decisions and he was going to do what he had to in this situation.
Apparently there has been more indications of the treatment of the children resulting in some pretty serious revelations regarding the OW and her way of dealing with the young son . The daughter has been caught in lies and my husband was broken hearted and angry about this .
He acknowledged that my assessment of the OW was correct to which I pointed out that those were not from my own wisdom but that the situation and character of the person was clearly defined and described in the word , All of what has happened due to his rejection of the wisdom of GOD and his rejection of keeping himself in line with the things GOD has said have resulted in his sinful choices to cheat …and now the ‘fruit’ is showing up in the lives of these children,
It is very sad…very serious and we are not over the hump as yet.
I cannot get into detail here and now , suffice to say my husband has to take some actions to protect the ongoing emotional abuse to the youngest son and his effort to guide the older child is somewhat deterred as her loyalty is formed to her mother who has put some pretty biased and false ideas in her head regarding her my husband and even me …who has never met or interfered in their lives.
Perhaps I will be able to share more later …it is very late and I am weary …it has been another long day .
I don’t think I have heard my husband share so much with me for a very long time …I was content to just listen sympathetically …and surprised I was not upset as I would have thought …I guess the revelations of what was going on lately were just more important to get the details straight ,
The pain he is in also was evident …this woman is really sick….and my husband is not going to get more involved with the psych who treats the boy ,….and also an attorney to see what kind of arrangment can be made legally for some kind of shared custody.
Needless to say this puts our own children in even a lesser position of their father’s focus …just as I am …and just as I told him his involvment would demand as these children grow and have greater needs.
So it is that men who will not involve themselves in their children’s upbringing see it as a ‘snap’ …and the OW seemed to feel that motherhood was no big deal either.
That is one thing I told my husband early on that IF he had been involved more in the daily tough work of parenting he NEVER would have gone on to plan children with the OW ….for one thing he would have not been able to break our hearts ….but in reality too …he would have realized the GREAT demanding work it takes to really parent …it IS a ‘FULL TIME JOB…thanks for feminism ‘wives and mothers’ who stay at home have been considered a little bit above ‘vagrants’ in our culture…never mind the rehtoric we hear and the flag waving ….true mothers …such as Michelle Dugger …and father who are involved …such as the Bates family ….to name just two …are shining examples of what it takes…and even they make it look easy .,..but would be the first to tell you it is HARD WORK but the best work on earth!
So my husband is going at it on his own …and still trying not to hurt us ! …well that ship has sailed…but I am here …supportive …and continue to try to offer him my love and affection …he has reduced our physical touch to a ‘half hug’ …the kind you might observe a man give another buddy!
Dis-functional does not begin to describe this kind of ‘marriage’ but I will endure for the sake of the love and the Lord who told us that our righteousness must exceed that of the scholars and religious leader …scribes and pharisees…..it must be HIS righteousness …which goes beyond mere knowledge …it is where the rubber meets the road in life giving loving ….sometimes a hard task …but in HIM we are provided with all that he has asked of us to do .