Have you considered that in an affair that the lover and cheater violate the boundaries of your marriage. They not only violate the boundaries of the marriage, they steal things from you. They steal affections and attention that belong to you. You may be fortunate enough to where all that is stolen is some attention and time. Some of you have lost your spouse, your financial security or your family due to the lover and the cheater. In this case, the theft has inside help. It’s an inside job that will literally steal you blind. They often do their dirty work, hiding the true nature of what they are up to. They may even steal tangible items such as jewelry, photos and personal items as well. What they steal depends on how far gone they are. When the lover and cheater are totally into their affair, the stealing becomes second nature, as does the lying. They may find themselves stealing, lying and hiding without even giving it a second thought. In extreme cases, they develop a whole second life. With the second life, they indulge in all their whims, while still maintaining the veneer of respectability. They may even be a pastor or hold church office while engaging in all their deeds. The double life is just another lie for them.
What they often do not realize is that the stealing only grows larger and larger. They will want more and more. What they have stolen does not satisfy them, they want more. When this appetite for stealing is coupled with a lawyer with a crooked heart, you’ve got some major problems. Combining an attitude of stealing with someone who knows how to find loopholes and use the law as a weapon against you is a dangerous combination. Combined, they are a threat to any family. Together they seek after “MORE” all in the name of being ‘fair’ and getting their fair share. After getting their goods, they split them like thieves after a heist.
If you have never viewed affairs as theft, you need to. It will help you see the true nature of what happened and the people. Mistakes are akin people tripping and falling. When the cheater plots and plans things out with the lover, it is an organized conspiracy of theft.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
3 Responses
Thanks for writing this. I have long considered affairs to be both a form of theft as well as a form of emotional violence. The latter is quite palpable for anyone who has gone through it, especially in the initial days after the discovery of the affair. The former is another matter. I had really only considered the aspect of emotional theft, but not that of finances (e.g. spouse removing all of her financial support from the marital situation) or of physical items (e.g. furniture and other items taken from the marital household). This definitely puts a new spin on things for me.
Rodion,
I am glad that the post helped you. The idea of affairs being a form of theft is not new. I wish I could claim credit for it, yet the idea is an old one, coming from law. The term ‘alienation of affection’ which is what they call when you propose to someone, yet do not follow through has some of this concept in it. In previous generations, they knew that spouses are entitled to the affections and support of their spouse. Those taking the affections that you were entitled to were considered to be stealing what belonged to another. In many ways modern culture has allowed Hollywood to define what an affair is rather than historic precedence and historic documents.