It may seem odd to consider the question of “Who decides if you are married?”, yet it has some major ramifications for your marriage. Is marriage something decided by the government or by your commitment and promises before God with your spouse? When the definition is based purely on two people ‘loving’ each other, does that mean when your spouse cheated that they were technically married to their lover? Although the two of them were infatuated for the duration of their time, were they married? If you have some common sense and do not rely on the government for your definitions of relationships, you know that they were not married. Although this seems like a silly matter for you to consider, when the definition of marriage becomes watered down, the special relationship you have with your spouse is in danger. Those lovers could claim to ‘be married’ to your spouse and be entitled to a divorce settlement. Although such a speculation sounds far-fetched, when a government steps in and defines marriage, what is to stop them from changing the definition on a whim? They could redefine it as ‘when two people love each other’.
The question of who decides if you are married is a serious one. It is serious in terms of legal consequences and in terms of the mindset of your spouse. When marriage is just about love, then they are married to who they are loving at the moment. If marriage is about commitment and love, then who you are married to is the person that you love AND are committed to. When marriage becomes a purely business relationship, then when the business is concluded, does that mean the marriage is over? When one of you does something outside of the original business arrangement, does that mean that the marriage is over? When government waters down the definition of marriage, it becomes a form of concubinage rather than a special commitment.
Your definition of marriage is important. It is important to you, your spouse and your children. It can make a major difference in whether an affair means the marriage is over or if you and your spouse are committed to each other “in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, …”. In the event that the two of you view marriage as an institution and a serious promise before God, then you have some work to do. In such cases, the affair does not mean that things are over, but it does mean that action needs to be taken. When you have a serious commitment, the lover is something that needs to be washed off in order to keep it out of your home.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
3 Responses
This is a very good post because it points toward the purpose and meaning of life itself . Jesus spoke of a life like a house whether built upon sand or the rock which we know is himself and the truth of his words.
It seems that all things built upon the Rock of the Lord and the truth have been under attack from the first efforts of the Serpent in the garden of Eden. Failing to read the records of civilization after civilization that has thumbed their noses at the wisdom of leaning upon God and obeying His wise counsel we are seeing the repeated decline of our own society and the world at large.
I suppose reading or hearing about what God has revealed and warned of about the consequences of abandoning Him as Lord and listening to His wisdom in order to live life abundant in protection from sin and it’s damages and being provided for in all ways that we may ourselves be able to grow and work in this realm has fallen upon deaf ears for the most part.
Religion has replaced truth and God who has set the standards for man who is HIS creation and created in HIS image.
Apart from God man CAN DO NOTHING as the Bible has predicted and man has demonstrated time and again.
To have what is identified as ‘the many ‘ who are on the road to destruction all affirm and conclude that God is whatever they have decided suits their present ‘needs’ and ‘ideas’ for their lust to be comfortable is the ‘faith’ of today in and outside of the visible church.
I was listening to one bible teacher comment that we have long been concerned about the attack upon truth as waged by a philosophy of evolution in regards to the origins of earth and man ….but today’s biggest trend now is a form of godliness but that denies the very Creator as is revealed in scripture.
This is no wonder since the Lord told us that no man knows who the Father is but the Son and he to whom the Son reveals Him and that is by way of the Word when it is received with MEEKNESS and a heart to be taught.
Today many of those who we speak to are not so much concerned about the argument of physical evolution but they now assign the ideas of spiritism which posits that God and all that is is in a state of continual evolution! The various spiritual trends that are extra biblical and even deny the Bible as truth along with all of the basic truths regarding God and Jesus Christ ! This is antichrist in it’s basest form.
Why then are we surprised at peoples lack of understanding of their own nature, purpose , state and the whole universe! It is appalling but even so God told us in scripture that “my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge’
When people do not understand WHAT they are ….and Who GOD is …and allow all kinds of spiritual deception to flourish due to their not KNOWING what GOD has clearly put forth and made available for us to know then nothing is going to be held to any tether!
1Cr 3:11 For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
Psa 11:3 If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?
God’s ‘foundation’ for our lives , our faith, our marriages and all other governance’s is HIS WORD.
Those who have been deceived into thinking that everything came out of nothing …that the various designs we see in nature and the order of all things seasons, days , hours and even the planetary movements are simply happenstance or some kind of either with no other purpose than to come into existance or worse..simpy figments of our imagination have fallen for the LIES that destroy all sanity!
The first cause is our loving heavenly father …like it or not ..the enemy of our soul would have confusion rip off every good gift and perfect purpose our life has been created for !
The niavity that has come about because people have not sought the Lord to know Him and to avail themselves of His revelation given to us through holy men of God who spoke as they were moved by the holy spirit are LOST and are going down fast in many false teachings and religious doctrines brought from the neo pagan past flesh pots of deceit.
Rituals have replace relationships …and the key one is the one God meant for us to have individually and personally with HIM through the knowledge of His Son who is the Word of GOD …incarnate ..Jesus Christ .
Marriage is KEY to the imaging of the Son who is the bride groom who gave himself up for his bride the Church …Husbands are told to LOVE their wives AS Christ loved the church …but how can they when they know NOT the Lord !
To know the Lord is to abide in His words and to have His words ABIDING IN us ….without this there is little knowledge or understanding of the way God’s LOVE is and how it is is far more than a warm fuzzy feeling when the lighting is just right and the music is playing and we are seeing through the haze of hormones that arise in moments of unguarded lust!
Marriage is sacred and few of us have been taught this from Hollywood and sadly long ago the church left off giving a full gospel message that included the need to know the value and importance of virtues such as learning to avoid sexual situations and those that lead to such things.
The world will always accommodate sin and it prospers when those who say they love the Lord are led to think that is simply a nice idea and a good ‘club’ to associate with. Those who followed Jesus in truth suffered a lot of rejection and pressure and even painful various conditions as they did so.
It was not a Sunday morning gathering for social and business interactions …just what the Lord dealt with in no uncertain terms as he addressed the money changers in the temple courtyard.
The true church has got to stay put on the truth no matter what ….as you point out that world is hell bent to dissemble any and all of the truth in all forms…marriage is one key covenant that the devil wants to abliterate. He has all but succeeded in causing people to regard it as ‘old fashioned’ and ‘out of date’ and too entangling …Love has been reduced to animal lust and justified by all aspects of our culture,
In the fifties it was a time when divorce was shameful and usually alluded to infidelity which was also more condemned and shameful ….Along came the various forms of pornography, pseudo sciences that studied sexual activity …Kinsey being one pervert who was useful in this area of deceiving people into thinking their sex life was dull and behind the times! Then the pill and no fault divorce….soon after the ‘right ‘ to abort a human life….I remember sitting in church having the preacher teach that a baby isn’t a human life until he breathes his first breath,….thus supporting the abortion rights movement!!!
I am deeply sorrowful to have had to learn so many things about the truth as I was a young and zealous new follower , hungry to learn more truth about the Lord and did not realize some of whom I listened to were false teachers teaching dammed-able heresies as many young and idealistic new Christ lovers were .
Isn’t that just what the wolves circling the flock do? They pick off the young lambs ,..clueless and try to deter their learning truth while they have as yet had little time to learn from study and research of the Word .
Today’s young people are being detoured into many of the same kinds of spiritual lies that were the things that destroyed many in times before .
The same deceitful doctrines ….with maybe different names …but it is all designed to steal , kill and destroy people who underestimate the wiles of the devil ….
The difference I see today is that NOW it is not just in a village or city as it was in Sodom ….it is now a world wide net cast because of internet and media of all kinds that has reached to the farthest corners of the globe ….it is attractive to those who are clueless about the truth of the Bible and those who use bible to support their doctrines mixed with old age/new age are making strides.’
Today when you begin to speak of the things of God you think you are speaking with someone who agrees and knows the Word until at some point you find the various ‘false ‘ things coming out that they have accepted as Biblical truth which are NOT .
This is one reason that people do not realize the issues at stake…minds are becoming reprobate at an alarming rate.
God has given man freedom to seek Him and various indications that testify to His existance.
I just watched a video that Berean Call put out I think it may have been in combination with Creation Research Institute …it was called God of Wonders….you can find it on Youtube …..It has some awesome film of various aspects of creation from the stars….animals and fish …birds and flowers…Creation shows that there is a GOD who is a designer and is orderly …..interspersed with the visuals are scripture and creation scientists …believer who explain the various details and intricacies that indicate that there has to have been and intelligent designer…..it is one of the reason God has set forth in Romans that we are all without excuse for not seeking Him
I include a link for your interest,…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p48rXsU7UQ
The definition of marriage IS a big deal …I am glad you brought that up…..
Back in the fifties and as late as the early sixties there was NO confusion of what marriage is …! It would have been ABSURD for anyone to say they did not KNOW what marriage is ! Perhaps the many divorces and single parent families has wrought this confusion . The normalizing of one parent families has caused children to think there is not loss when there is no ‘family’ as God describes ….it has been part of the agenda of those who gain from a fragmented society …Look at Russia in it’s down fall of family .
Friends of mind rescued a family of five children placed in a Russian orphanage by their parents who both were alcoholics …both worked so much and then drank they gave their children into the care of the state ..this is not unusual …it is more the NORM there …and the orphanages cannot keep the children ..when they reach around 12 they are thrust out into the streets to make their way as best they can
MOst prostitute for food ! Both boys and girls.
Breaking down the family leads to destruction of people’s lives…..marriage being ‘reimaged’ or ‘rebranded’ which are the terms of the NEW AGE …have the potential to destroy many lives and SOULS as you probably know already …this is a plague …it is become a land of reprobates as described in the Word and in historical accounts of societies that collapsed under this kind of debauchery !
I am sad for this senario we see going on before our eyes….and we who have had what we thought were upright families to find our own families being torn up by spouses whose minds are darkened by their rejection of the Word through deception of lust are simply in mourning for not just the past but the present and the future ….
The lie is that the world is getting better through ecuminical compromises ….one world religion , one world governement …but it is a testimony of the scriptures which tells us that they will say ‘peace , peace where there IS NO PEACE” it is a CON and a snare …..
Why do we not learn from the past! It is arrogance of man in his fallen carnal state …..
Christ is our ROCK and our SALVATION not just for eternity …but in daily life …to be resurrected from the pit of wallowing in the MIRE of compromise and mixture…..the truth is like a chemical element …you cannot use anything other than H2O to get water…..changing any basic element will not result in water.
Truth about marriage is ONE man < ONE woman …submitted to the Lord and His word for LIFE and that results in maturity and wisdom growing daily …and bringing forth what every child needs to observe and live with ….what love IS by God's definition…applied to living life with another person rightly.
How else may a child learn the purpose and way of living life that is abundant and rightteous ….?
BTW …along these lines I found an interesting site recently that you might find useful to read in addition to your other resources dealing with such things..
http://www.lonang.com/foundation/1/f1F.htm
It is entirely devoted to examining law….and from the scriptural standpoint …not religious but more about finding what our foundations for the way we approach legal matters…..this particular section that link is to will discuss family and marriage in it’s origin from a legal standpoint and it’s jurisdiction and from where the ideas and authority is sourced
Zaza,
The site looks interesting. It is always good to pass along helpful information. Thank you for sharing that.