Ignorance isn’t bliss in the long run

You may be one of those who when faced with tough situations that you have never encountered before resort to trite little sayings to get you through them. Telling yourself “Ignorance is bliss!”, you give yourself permission to put your blinders on as to what is actually going on. This approach is similar to the childhood game where you cover your eyes, thinking that if you no longer see the person, they will ‘go away’. Now that you are an adult, you no longer cover your eyes. Instead, you use catchy little phrases to put blinders on your brain and your heart in such matters.

Part of the not wanting to see things is denial. Denial is part of the natural reaction to dealing with an affair. Although it is part of the reaction, continuing to stay in denial is not natural. Denial is only supposed to be temporary. Long term denial = you are lying to yourself.

Ignoring the problems will not make them go away. It will not lead to the necessary changes your marriage needs. Ignoring the problem often makes the situation worse.

You can tell when you go from denial to lying to yourself. Lying to yourself is when you see what is going on and intentionally choose to overlook it. You try to avoid looking at or hearing things. In denial you see and hear, yet have not connected the dots. When you connect the dots, yet choose not to acknowledge them or talk about them, you have begun lying to yourself. When you are in denial, it is possible that you have been deceived. When you are lying to yourself, you have deceived yourself.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah

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