If the world of swinging doesn’t make sense to you, it’s likely because you haven’t been ‘enlightened’ to their way of looking at the world. In the swingers mind, there are two groups of people, “cheaters” and “swingers”.
Cheaters are those persons who have relationships with others without permission of their spouse. With swingers, having the permission of your spouse makes sex with someone other than your spouse acceptable.
Those who haven’t been enlightened are often terms ‘vanilla’ and they have just not realized the free love nature they were born with. What they call enlightenment is what I would likely call ‘flipping the perversion switch’.
It’s at that point where you cross the line into a way of life that changes you and your thinking. At that point, your animal-like passions have over rode your conscience and common sense.
The world of swinging is diametrically opposite of traditional views on marriage and relationships outside of marriage. In traditional marriage, ANY relationship outside of your marriage is wrong, no matter who condones or approves of it.
When you marry, promises are made to your spouse, before God and before witnesses. Although your spouse may tell you that such a relationship is ok, your promise to God and your own conscience tells you otherwise.
In some marriages, where there’s extreme illness, one spouse may give the green light, turn a blind eye or give a ‘hall pass’ to the affair, but that doesn’t mean that it’s moral or acceptable.
Cheating is still cheating, even when you have been given permission to cheat when it comes to marriage.
Couples function best in the one-man, one-woman structure. Any deviancy from that has consequences. No matter how many studies and people say that sexual deviancy is normal and acceptable, there are still consequences.
Those consequences may be social ostracization, exposure to disease, moral torment, guilt, or numerous other issues. A common shell game researchers use in getting the results they want is looking at short term effects, rather than the long term. Another is using small sample sizes, or removing subjects that are already starting to show consequences.
This way, they remove or don’t report on unwanted consequences.
The reality is that you can’t escape the consequences, no matter how persuasive your mind may be. Some researchers like Kinsey, cherry picked the subjects in their study to get the results they wanted.
He intentionally skewed the results of his studies on couples and their sexual behavior. This way, he readjusted what was considered ‘normal’ sexual behavior. By changing what was normal, it opened the door to greater acceptance of fringe sexual activity.
It’s worth mentioning that swingers don’t just happen. Swinging results from seduction, mind control and manipulation. Alcohol and drugs are often used in assuaging your conscience. This also numbs any emotional reactions to engaging in unnatural relations outside of your marriage.
If you’re dealing with a spouse who is pressuring you to swing, you need to know what you are dealing with. Them and their friends can be very persuasive in pressuring you into that world, which often becomes a nightmare when you try to leave it.
If you are tired of the nightmare and want out, it’s possible. The video “Overcoming Affair Trauma for swingers” guides you in moving out the the nightmare. Your body knows when things are unnatural, even when your mind tells you otherwise.
Best Regards,
Jeff
