Wading through lies.

In preparing for an upcoming podcast campaign, I found myself dealing with the subject of “lying”. Lying is a big part of dealing with affairs. I was struck by how a subject as simple as lying actually has many facets. There are lies you tell yourself, the lies the cheater tells you, sorting black and white lies, dealing with families that lie, dealing with a marital history filled with lies, the lies that modern society tells you and lies about the affair. The list of aspects of lies continued on, but I believe that you get the picture. After making my way through the ‘lies’, it occurred to me that some people do not want to know the truth either. They avoid the truth about themselves, their marriage and the affair. Knowing the truth would be too upsetting for them. In that case, they know it is a lie, yet continue in it anyway, since the truth would be ‘too hard’.

What lies have in common is that they are the easy way out. They hide or disguise some aspect of the truth. The lies may be about what happened, what they did or the consequences of what they did. Then there is the topic of half-lies. This is where you tell enough of the truth to ease your conscience, yet still lie to hide something else.

With something that could be as simple as telling the truth, many prefer to lie. When the lies begin, things become complicated quickly. Besides the complications (issues like intentional lies, white/black lies, motivations for lies, etc.) there is the damage that lies do to the trust in your marriage. When the trust is gone, the dynamics of the relationship change radically. You are dealing with a whole different marriage once trust is gone.

Getting used to telling the truth and hearing the truth takes time. The best time to start is now.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah

You Might Also Like To Read:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Popular Posts