Stupid Cheaters and Vicious Cheaters

Not all cheaters are the same as you already know. This is one of the reasons why one self help book or workshop doesn’t answer all the problems. They’re each designed for different types of cheaters.

Looking at cheaters in terms of either being stupid or vicious makes simple categories, it also makes them easier to understand.

Stupid cheaters are those who either acted stupid, or were in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person. They often get seduced by a tempting lover and are led astray by their own desires. The lover knows that once aroused, they quit thinking on many levels.

They only consider satisfying their passionate lusts and desire to consume. They want what they want and they want it NOW.  They’re caught up in tunnel vision when aroused. They often still have good hearts at their core, yet find themselves with an impulsive mind and foolish lusts.

Vicious cheaters are those which are corrupt in principles and conduct. The term “vicious” has the same root word as vice. These cheaters habitually seek out affairs. They are hell-bent on the ‘action’ of an affair.

They plot and plan out their affairs. They create mental scripts on ‘how things are going to go’. They transgress morals without hesitation. Their affairs are not a matter of mistakes. They knew what they wanted. They went out looking for an affair or a target lover,  like someone on a mission.

You don’t treat foolish choices in the same way that you deal with depraved planning. In each case there was an affair, yet the intention, attitude and planning behind each of them is vastly different.

Applying the wrong solution to the situation will have you fixing the wrong problem. You need to know what kind of cheating you are dealing with and handle it with the best solution.

All cheaters did something wrong, yet you need to consider the backstory of their situation and motivations behind it as well. Focusing only on the affair without considering what is behind it can make all the difference.

There’s many helps out drawing your attention to “What kind of affair was it?”.  These draw you attention to the affair, rather than to the cheater themselves. It could be that you’re trying to understand their actions, rather than understanding them.

The affair behavior is often more titillating than understanding the needs of your cheating spouse. It’s more exciting diving into the details of what happened, yet more healing diving into the hidden needs of you and your spouse.

Healing is going to come from addressing their needs rather than deep diving into what they did.

If you want to understand the cheater rather than what they did, you go to AffairRecoveryWorkshop.com. They need your understanding of them more than your understanding of what they did.

Best Regards,

Jeff

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