With the conflicts and fights that often erupt related to an affair, one of the challenges that occurs is the risk of fighting the same old fight. This risk is that the two of you will essentially fight the same issue over and over repeatedly. Like two actors on a stage, the both of you recite your lines, rehearse the action with the same result. Fighting the same old fight often leads to the same old results. Fighting the same old fight can be very frustration to all parties.
So, how does this happen? In some cases, you may be stuck on an issue. It keeps being brought up either because you or your spouse do not feel that it has been resolved. This can be a need for closure in the area that the fight is about. The two of you may need a sense of connecting with each other, yet avoid concluding the fight, since it may mean that the two of you will have to move into some new uncharted territory.
Some couples do not know how to resolve fights. When you do not know how to resolve them or don’t recognize a resolution when you see it, you can find yourself caught up in the vicious cycle of ‘fighting the same old fight’.
There are also situations where the ‘same old fight’ continues since it is a microcosm of the couples difficulties with intimacy. As strange as it sounds, they may feel closer to each other when they fight than when they talk. It may be their way of achieving intimacy. Granted, it is not the healthiest form of intimacy, yet when both of you are starving for intimacy, ‘fighting the same old fight’ may be a safe way of attaining some intimacy.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
