Although you often use the word ‘normal‘ in daily conversation, when it comes to relationships, it can be disastrous.The way this happens is that you seek after a way of life that is ‘normal’ or wanting to get your marriage back to ‘normal’.
This tyranny of seeking after what is normal keeps you from accepting what is and enjoying what you do have. It is for this reason, that the saying “Normal is a setting on the dryer” is so popular in some circles.
The people in those circles have realized the tyranny of seeking after what is normal.
This is especially important after an affair. Your marriage will never be the same. You’ll be establishing new routines and forming a new type of intimacy.
It’s a fools errand seeking after “what we had” or recreating the relationship that once existed. That relationship is gone.
The two of you can still be in relationship, but you will have to accommodate and adjust (as will your spouse) to what the new relationship is. Things will be different.
The two of you are now different. You’ve been through something that’s hard to survive, although it is survivable.
Seeking after the ‘normal’ will ruin your marriage relationship. You can salvage the good part of what you had and work at making it better.
Although you can save parts, you can’s keep what you had. Trying to force your marriage into the old mold (which is now broken) is like putting a square peg in a round hole.
It will not fit and will not work. Trying to make your life ‘normal’ will take the joy out of everyday living.
In the download, “Affair Recovery Workshop”, I show you what areas of your relationship need your attention. When you address the key items in your relationship, you can turn things around.
Knowing what those key items in your relationship are is what many of you are missing. In the workshop, you’ll discover what they are. You’ll also have a plan the includes what changes are needed, where to make changes and how to do it.
Best Regards,
Jeff
