There are times when dealing with the affair that you feel like it’s “You” against the world. Encountering that experience is overwhelming. When you feel that way, you may dismiss it as overreaction or exaggerating.
The truth is in many cases, those sensations are correct. You are against the world.
In today’s society, there’s a growing trend promoting adultery. When you take stands against adultery, you’re taking a stand against the ‘modern mindset’.
You fighting for your marriage and opposing the affair is counter to the Hollywood, the latest social science theories, and mass market media promotions encouraging people to “do whatever makes you happy”. In modern society, happiness is held up as the highest value, rather than doing what is right or honoring your promises and commitments.
Staying in a marriage means working through problems. It also means that there may be times when you are uncomfortable or hurting.
Marriage doesn’t mean that you’ll always be happy, but it does mean that you’re committed to your promises and relationships.
A popular trend in modern society is revolting against self-control, self-restraint or anything that makes a person unhappy. Since a successful marriage often requires selflessness, self-control, and self-restraint, it leaves people feeling unhappy or uncomfortable.
Anytime you have to let go of selfishness, there is some unhappiness. When you stand up for marriage and trying to save yours, you will be at odds with those forces that HATE self-restraint.
They’ll portray you as controlling, old-fashioned, a kill joy, and a host of other names. They may portray you as the bad person because you want to hold the cheater accountable, while modern society wants to allow them to do whatever makes them happy.
When the affair makes them happy, it puts you and the affair at cross purposes. You rather than the cheater will often be viewed as the ‘bad’ or unreasonable person. There may be times that you wonder if you’re the one going crazy.
You’re not. The values of modern society have gone topsy-turvy. In modern society, what makes a person happy is often seen as a higher priority than doing right.
When you take a stand for doing right or holding a person to their promises, you are doing right rather than making them happy. By putting ‘doing the right thing’ ahead of what makes others happy, you are standing against the current of modern values.
They will say “you’re crazy” as way of intimidating you. They don’t like being reminded of commitments, or right and wrong and the importance of family.
Those things interfere with them being “Happy”. When you take a stand, they have to take an honest look at themselves which many in modern society do not want to do. They do not want to be reminded that their values of “Happiness above all” does not work for relationships or families.
When you’re facing the world system alone, it’s intimidating. The good news is that there are tools for helping you. Being alone doesn’t mean you’re helpless. Helplessness is optional.
One of the things you can do is order the download, “Affair Recovery Workshop“. In it, you’ll find direction in dealing with the affair. You’ll know what to do, when to do it and how to do it.
You will know ways of improving communication, ways of using brain hacks for connecting with your spouse, along with ways of increasing the intimacy that’s been missing in your marriage.
Best Regards,
Jeff
