“I’m not an evil person! I only had an Affair.

 

 

 

Cheaters  tell you that they’re not evil. They may say to you, “I’m not an evil person! I only had an affair!“When this happens, they’re selling you on their intentions.

They may even tell you that their therapist or Relationship guru said they weren’t evil as well.  The expert may not even see affairs as ‘evil’.

Somehow by adding these ‘expert’ opinions to their claims  makes them less evil

When the experts and gurus don’t see the affair and it’s evil qualities, they aren’t going to see it elsewhere either. When you pay them money or buy their books, they’re inclined to not see the evil.

When a majority of therapists don’t view affairs as a serious enough problem for couples to focus on when they came into the therapist for the affair, it sends a LOUD message.

That message is that they wouldn’t know evil if they saw it. When therapists excuse the affair, they don’t see the destructive effects that come with evil.

The cheater may not be an evil person, they may not have intended to hurt you or anyone else. That’s one of the problems with cheating.

Cheating unleashes a monster no one intended to release. Many times the cheating starts ‘innocently’ as flirting or admiration and escalates into something ugly.

One of the aspects of ‘evil‘ is that it doesn’t show its true colors. It starts off innocent.

If evil appeared evil at the beginning, people would leave it alone. One of the traits of something being evil is how its whole nature changes. Evil hides its’ true nature.

It morphs from something fun and innocent into something ugly and destructive.

Technically, the cheater may be correct in telling you that “I’m not an evil person!” The cheater may not be evil at all, or had evil intentions. Despite their intentions and the possibility of them being a good person, they were involved in unleashing something evil.

They may not have wished it on anyone. They got caught up in something that destroys.

Some cheaters are oblivious to the destruction a little selfishness can bring when it leads to an affair.

There are some cheaters who have evil intentions. They actually want to create distance in their marriage.

They want to find a way out of the relationship. Although the motivations and intent of cheaters  varies, what doesn’t vary is the destructive results of their actions.

If your marriage has been impacted by the destructive effects of an affair, you’ve seen the evil first hand. Anything filled with sex, and surrounded by lies, deception and betrayal meets the definition of evil.

The good news is that your marriage doesn’t have to stay that way. Things can change. When you know what to do in the right order, your marriage can be salvaged. In the downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop“, I’ll guide you through what you and your marriage needs.

There are ways of making past the lies, deceit and subterfuge. The pattern of bad choices can be stopped when you know what to do, how to put things and when to do it.

Best Regards,

Jeff

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One Response

  1. How this resonates with the view that people have come to view of themselves …as it turns out it is the flesh of ALL which is ‘evil’ as God describes it …it is our natural state we are born into from Adam onward. It is the clueless idea that what WE like and want is ‘ok’ or ‘good’ since it i we ourselves that tend to believe the good ‘press’ our senses tell us and through comparison with others who are ‘really REALLY bad’ we look pretty good.

    It is the sliding scale that some religions promote also that causes people who do not read the Bible to understand that only GOD is good and the definer of what is good.

    Jesus told those who came calling him ‘good master’ as they only viewed his flesh and his works that only God is good.

    This was so that we would realize our need. The law of GOD also works to show us our need of a Savior since God is not only love but wise, good and HOLY . He is just and sin demands a just judgment just as any law breaker knows when standing before a human judge who has been sworn to uphold the laws of man. A penalty or a price must be paid. Few is any good judges will allow a ‘pass’ when we have a speeding ticket or someone breaks into a bank~

    Man like to think of GOd by his own fleshly standards. Weak as we may be to perhaps put off correcting a child we are NOT to be compared with GOD’S character which is faithful to his own laws and standards. That is why he sent his son to pay for the sins of fallen man who had no way to do so.

    The Word is defined in one place as a ‘sword’ which we may read and it ‘cuts through the flesh’ and shows us the sinful condition of what has said is our ‘heart which is deceitful above all things and desparately wicked’ ….ahhhh that is the root of our problem. We do not know what we do not know and a lot of it has to do with the way our fleshly heart promotes us to give in to sinful ideas.

    God provided a way for those who are concerned about damaging behavior that may harm ourselves or others …to learn how to become more in tune with HIS way of living life and through the holy spirit we are empowered to do so …Through a faith in Jesus Christ we are not only saved from the wrath to come but equipped in the meanwhile to learn what to do and then to do it~

    No excuses are necessary we HAVE been provided THE Way and the way and means to follow after Him. God ‘s Mercy gives us the TIME and His grace provides the ability to do so.

    My husband suffered from a common aliment among those who have much ability and talent to prosper in the world without any assistance from GOD . He fell prey to sin because he did not want to follow after the things of the Lord. He tried to excuse and minimize his sin by saying he never wanted to hurt anyone . Had he been paying attention to me and the Word of GOD he would have read’ Love does not ill to his neighbor’ let alone one’s wife and children.

    His pleasure and desire for admiration of co workers and people who he only had superficial relationships wore away his love and care for all of us …and ulitmately for other.

    He had a wonderful platform from, which the Word of GOD could have reached others …instead he feared to lose their affection so he turned from GOD and me and ultimately hurt all of us and even those who he failed to testify to who might have become saved.

    Now I seek for his soul and ask for prayer for him more than ever since he has become very depressed and self hating over his beginning to see the depth of his sin and it’s consequences all suffer because of his stubborn refusal to walk in obedience to the thing of GOD which would bless and make him a blessing. Sad but God is still working …praise Him for this .

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