The danger of Affair Revenge sites

 

In keeping my finger on the pulse of the affair recovery community, I’m often left with an uneasy feeling on landing at what I call ‘revenge sites’.

It would be better to call them ‘hate sites’, since they exponentially turn hurt into hate. It’s also suspected that the public would confuse these hate sites with hate groups, hate speech and other terms presently in vogue.

What I view as the ‘revenge sites’ cover the gamut from blatant misogynist and misandry sites to those that the more subtle ones  encouraging you to shut yourself off from any kind of reconciliation or forgiveness. These sites find a way of tuning into your hurt and then encouraging you to never forgive or never reconcile with those who hurt you.

Although they’re not the obvious barrier to relationship work that misogynist (woman hater) or misandry (man hater) sites which make their agenda of hate blatant, they block meaningful work from being done.

By tuning into your pain, such sites initially come across as sympathetic to your pain. You  assume that ‘they understand my pain’ and ‘can relate to what I am going through’.

They do understand your pain. The danger is what their solution to the pain is.

They encourage you to cut yourself off from connection with your spouse. There are times cutting off is needed, yet these are fewer than the number of times you need to be open to reconciling.

Being open to reconciling amounts to being open to the cheater making things right. When you shut the door, the door is shut.

Once the relationship door is closed, your mind isn’t open to considering apologies, them making things right or any kind of forgiveness. When you allow the messages of these revenge sites to sink into your heart, it begins cutting off reconciliation.

Is that what you want? Much like the cheater needs to be careful what they feed their mind and emotions with, you need to be careful as well.

The messages you allow into your mind mold and shape your thinking. That molding and shaping may take place at an unconscious level, yet rest assured that it is happening.

When you let things into your mind without question, those messages  begin working on your thinking. So the next time you are tempted to browse one of the revenge sites, pay attention to the messages in their avatars and pictures.

Do those messages bring healing? If they do not bring healing, you may want to rethink the messages of the site.

When your are wanting healing rather than revenge, order the download “Affair Recovery Workshop”. It guides you through what you need in reconciling and working through the issues leading up to the affair.

The workshop covers communication, intimacy, family patterns and more. When you know what to do and how to do it, your marriage stands a better chance of recovering from the affair.

Best Regards,

Jeff

You Might Also Like To Read:

One Response

  1. “The messages you allow into your mind will mold and shape your thinking. That molding and shaping may take place at an unconscious level, yet rest assured that it is happening. When you let things into your mind without question, those messages are allowed to begin working on your thinking”

    How true and great that you point this out….it is JUST what the Word of God tells us to be aware of and how we may be sure of what we keep in our minds….

    Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

    Also the influences we allow into our close relationships….

    1Co 15:33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

    The word ‘communications’ applies not just to what we read , or see but what or who we make close interactions with. Satan knows us better than we do ourselves and if we take God’s warnings and wisdom lightly we may allow our areas of vulnerabilities due to being in fallen flesh to leave us open for deceit or damages.

    God has given us useful wisdom as a way for us to learn how to be protected in our lives…and a lot of that is through our thinking .

    The world, the flesh and the devil are in the process of assaults upon the minds of human beings who are not aware of the process or means that are used by the enemy of God and Christ and those who are believers on the way to growing in the knowledge of the Truth .

    This is done through the venues of …

    1Jo 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

    As in the garden of Eden account….the enemy of God and his children assaults the areas of ignorance in Eve…as SHE was not present when Adam was informed about the warning of the tree of knowledge of Good and Evil…Ever since the Fall due to man’s deliberate CHOICE to disobey the command of GOD ….man has been redefining the terms of ‘good ‘ and ‘evil’ by way of his desires and appetites.

    With he help of people who are clueless to how the Word of GOD exposes the way this works the devil has been using all kinds of ways to influence man’s thinking and deceives those who are prideful and are convinced they know all they need to know.

    To love one’s enemies or even OTHERS , is in truth, to speak to them with the WORD which exposes sin…and in some the favorite sins that one may be convinced is ‘good’ .

    The fallen mankind is in the ongoing process of defining what GOD has called ‘good’ …evil ‘ and what God has said is ‘evil’ as ‘good’! We see this mostly AFTER we have been willing to allow God’s word and His spirit to teach us as we read the Bible. Many do not read with this attitude and come away with ideas of how the Bible is NOT the Word …just as Eve was persuaded to reject God’s Word and didn’t not demonstrate an accurate knowledge of just what GOD HAD told Adam but a modified version. It was an indication that she doubted that she HAD the Word of GOD to refer to and she opted for seeing things through her fleshly desires and appetites.

    I have found the various vengeful statements on many sites where hurt and pain is going on as a result of the devil using one spouse to attack the other and the family and community at large surrounding that couple’s marriage.

    God is perfect …so I figure HE will deal with vengeance but His true heart is to see repentance and reconciliation . It is for us to follow after His Words to find strength and courage to continue to follow HIM rather than go with our wounded hearts feelings and anger.

    Ultimately if the ones that sin against us in league with an enemy they know not then they will suffer an eternal destiny we would not wish even on those who have deeply wounded us …as we have been forgiven much and thus may pass that forgiveness on …this enrages satan no doubt …for love believes what God has indicated about His own character and if we are HIS we want to ‘opt ‘ to manifest HIS nature and deny the flesh and all kinds of ungodliness.

    We may thus be part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

    May people take close heed to your sharing this here….for what poisons the unprotected mind will only increase in evil as leaven puffs up whatever it is put into.

    Thanks Jeff for a very wise post!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Popular Posts