What’s behind Affairs with bosses?

 

You may wonder what’s behind employees having affairs with bosses. Whether it is employees with bosses, teachers with students, doctors with patients, lawyers with clients, or other such relationships, the dynamics are the same of as the employee-boss affairs.

Each of these are relationships involves a difference in power. With affairs, these kind of relationships are more about power than sexual attraction.

Many bosses confuse admiration from employees with attraction. When your employees admire you, they look up to you. Most bosses have never been trained to handle or understand such dynamics.

They think that the employee ‘loves’ them or is attracted to them. Instead, the employee wants attention and recognition. They want to feel special. The affair provides a way for them to feel special.

Some bosses are unscrupulous enough to exploit that admiration or use their position for sexual favors.

When employees look up to the boss, many bosses think that admiration is because they are so wonderful. They don’t realize that it’s because of a power differential.

The boss has more power than the employee. The employee wants that power.

Some employees do not have good social skills, so they resort to using seduction as a way of attaining the power that they want. When either the boss or employee resorts to using seduction, the whole relationship becomes ‘sexualized’.

Once a power based relationship becomes sexualized, it’s difficult, if not impossible for it to go back to the way it was before. The whole relationship changes once things become sexualized.

The work relationship is no longer about work. Loyalties are no longer about the job. The motivation to go to work has changed. The whole purpose of ‘going to the job’ has been altered.

Since bosses and employees spend many hours in each others company, the risk of affairs is always present. When the relationship becomes sexualized, that risk is exponentially higher.

Since the relationship has changed, the whole focus and motivation behind working together changes. In relationships, even work based ones, people are either getting closer or further apart.

When a relationship crosses sexual lines, the intensity of the getting closer is astronomical, likewise when the two people get further apart, the sparks are more intense.

What used to be a relationship where people wanted to focus on and finish their assigned task, now becomes secondary to them keeping a joint secret and finding ways of enhancing the enjoyment of their relationship.

Affairs with bosses is something best avoided. When they happen, realize that the whole work environment has been poisoned. For once bosses have affairs, they become more invested in protecting their secret than doing what’s right.

If your marriage has been tainted by an employee and boss affair, there’s hope. The downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” guides you through the recovery and repair you need.

Your marriage can recover. Yes, some changes will be necessary. Doing nothing only prolongs the nightmare.

Best Regards,

Jeff

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