The question was asked as to whether there are rumors that can cost your marriage. Rumors have cost people jobs, careers, promotions, and reputations.
One of the tragic aspects of rumors is that they don’t have to be true. All they have to be is ‘plausible’ to inflict damage.
Since rumors only have to be plausible, if someone wishes ruining your marriage or career all they have to do is come up with a rumor that is believable. It only has to sound believable.
For this reason, you have to be ‘squeaky clean’ regarding your relationships. If you’re a person prone to brinkmanship, you are vulnerable to rumors.
The closer to the edge you get, the more danger you’re in. You may not have had an affair, but your willingness to take risks has a price.
You don’t have to cheat in order to have to have rumors spread about you. You may not have slept with anyone, yet the rumor is enough to damage your marriage.
Although marriage should be strong enough to weather rumors, that’s not always the case. The modern trend is for spouses to bail when tensions grow too big.
Commitment and responsibility are missing in many marriages, which makes them vulnerable to rumors, especially if it’s a second or third marriage.
It’s not fair a second or third marriage is not treated like a first marriage. Although it’s not fair, that’s a reality. That reality leaves you working harder at handling rumors than other marriages.
Bear in mind that Parent Alienation Syndrome, which ruined many lives, amounts to ‘rumors on steroids’. The accuser only has to plant seeds of discord in the form of rumors leaving behind irreparable damage.
It may be an angry love, disgruntled ex or even an angry mother-in-law. Any one with access to the family who can drop a rumor is a potential danger.
Once you’re defending yourself against rumors in a court room situation, the damage is done.
There are people who enjoy spreading rumors. They know they are lying, yet persist in doing it. They often want to see you destroyed or your marriage ruined.
You can call them busybodies, rumor mongers or home wreckers. (Yes, a home wrecker can be someone other than the lover).
In their mind, you don’t deserve your marriage or to be happy, so they take it on themselves to tear things down.
A close cousin of these destructive people are those who spread rumors due to disliking you on the job, or secretly coveting your position, or even you. Some rumor mongers use their poison as a ‘tool of seduction’.
They want to have that affair with you, and put you in a compromising situation in order to make it happen.
With all this in mind, you need to be careful and ‘abstain from all appearance of evil’ You want to live such a squeaky clean life that there is no possibility of affair rumors.
In such situations, you’ll want any damaged relationships repaired. A valuable tool for this is the video “How Can I Trust You Again?” This video guides you in rebuilding damaged relationships.
Repairing damaged relationships doesn’t have to mean re-establishing them, but it does mean you have to repair damaged trust.
Best Regards,
Jeff
4 Responses
I married almost two years ago it never got off the ground we never had a foundation nothing but rumors that’s it.
Sidney,
Thank you for writing. It’s hard getting any relationship off the ground when there is no solid foundation. Rumors make things mushy and undependable. You find yourself always second guessing about what is true and what is not true. It’s a nightmare.
Those are my thoughts now I’m getting a divorce.
Sidney,
Rumors poison relationships, be they positive or negative rumors. I hate hearing that you are getting a divorce, yet with a marriage based on rumors, it makes much more sense. What and who you thought you married is not who you married.