Conversations about Affairs over Mexican food.

When I enjoy a meal with my father, who is also a counselor, the conversation is filled with thought provoking and interesting information about relationships, psychology and such.

In the most recent conversation, he began elaborating on how the baby boomer generation experiences a rate of depression three times greater than previous generations.

After presenting the problem, the conversation immediately went to “What do they attribute this amount of depression to?“. He relays that the study he read attributed it to the lack of responsibility of the generation going back to them being allowed to leave relationships too easily.

What do you mean, ‘being allowed to leave relationships too easily?

He replied that the boomer generation grew up with no-fault divorce laws and have been allowed to leave marriages and families too easily. He continued elaborating on how they no longer have to work through their issues. They can just decide that they no longer love their spouse and ‘it’s over’.

The conversation headed into the importance of working through marital issues and sticking with commitments, along with the challenges that go with that position. I never asked him his source, since being over 80 years old, he doesn’t remember specific citations anyway.

I was reminded of that conversation in reading how during the 1960’s when divorce rates began rising, many couples intentionally had affairs intentionally so they had a reason to divorce their spouse. At that time in many States, there had to be grounds for a divorce happening. Adultery was grounds for divorce since no-fault divorce wasn’t around.

I thought, “Perhaps that explains the start of the exit affair?” Although no fault divorce now exists, ‘exit affairs’ are still used for leaving marriages.

There are always consequences to our choices, including the no-fault, “I don’t love you anymore” choices. It may be easier to leave your marriage, yet you can not escape the emotional consequences of such easy outs.

Many of those consequences are time released and only show up years later. Those ‘simple’ or ‘easy’ choices have the biggest consequences.

Our conversations about affairs over Mexican food don’t change the world, but it opens up new ways of looking at things.

If you are one of those whose willing to work through things rather than just give up, the downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” is for you. In a series of sessions, you’ll learn ways of changing communication, transform your relationships and improve intimacy.

An affair doesn’t have to be the death of your marriage or trigger a divorce.

Best Regards,

Jeff

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