Have you ever considered how one of the foulest of cusswords is the one for someone who sleeps with or has an affair with someone’s mother? There’s a reason why society has long considered such acts vile and offensive.
Before you go out and have an affair, keep in mind, you may be someone’s mother or you may be trying to sleep with someone’s mother. When mother’s having an affair, deep feelings are stirred up that don’t fade for a long time.
In having the affair, you may have rightfully earned the sobriquet cussword title that goes with it. Try calling yourself that name in the mirror and see how it fits.
If you don’t like it, then quit what you are doing. If it makes you uncomfortable, then you’d best get used to it, since that’s what you’ve become or who you associate with.
If you are the mother, who is sleeping around, does it make you a slut? YES, you’ve become a slut, or if you prefer, a bitch. If you are the husband, yes, you have earned yourself the stain of the vulgar title.
You may not think that you deserve it. What you think doesn’t matter at this point. That is what you have become. The real question is “What are you going to do about it?”
Looking at the person in the mirror and calling yourself what you have honestly become is harsh. You may need harsh in order to wake up to what you are doing, and whose lives it is touching.
That offensive name in all its harshness and tackiness is where you are at. It is what you’ve sunk to.
There’s a reason why that name is considered offensive. It carries with it the pain of being betrayed, of something foul and offensive.
In some circles it is considered ‘fightin’ words’. I am reminded how my grandfather would go into fight mode when called such names.
At one point, he was chased out of Galveston for his fighting. You may not know much of Texas, but for someone to get kicked out of the rough port city of Galveston for fighting is a loud statement.
His story reminds me of the intensity of the reaction to such names. It can transform a normally peace loving man into a beast.
Children know that a mother that sleeps around brings dispersions on them. It turns them into bastards and sons of bitches.
It stirs up deep feelings and resentments. Before you step out the door and sleep with someone’s spouse, consider how you are making your children and their bastards and sons of bitches.
Rather than take offense at the neighbor kid calling your child one of those names if you’ve put them in that position.
If you have cheated and want to change the situation, the video, “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery” guides you through this.
Best Regards,
Jeff
4 Responses
This is a hard-hitting, powerful statement. I had never thought of it this way, but it’s absolutely true. Sure the cheaters never look at it this way. I never called my cheating wife any of these names, but he had claimed I did when defending herself, which is all she does now since one month after the latest DDay. Maybe I should be more direct like this.
Untold,
Thank you for your kind comment. When you start “telling yourself the truth” as I call the process, it involves being honest about what happened and also changing your way of thinking to yourself about what happened. It often opens up a whole new world. Part of that “telling yourself the truth” is realizing the truth of those ‘fightin’ words’ in terms of what they convey and how they apply. The direct approach may seem harsh, yet in the long run, it lets you and others know where things are at. It improves clarity as a result of the honesty.
Interesting. When my husband was in the beginning phases of what turned out to be a years long emotional and sometimes physical affair, my mother in law knew about their friendship, and from my perspective supported him in that inappropriate relationship, much to the detriment of our marriage.
In times of frustration and anger over the amount of time my husband spent helping out this poor damsel in distress co worker of his, I would sometimes call him a son of a b__.
My husband had a father who had affairs while married to my husband’s mother. So sad. That marriage ended. As a single woman struggling to raise a family of many children my then future mother in law had affairs with married men. I recall early in our marriage how she would still get tickets to the circus for her growing family of grandchildren from an old friend, who my husband explained that had been a man his mom had dated. My husband’s mom had been the single woman girlfriend of a married man. At the time I questioned the propriety of her still receiving perks from that relationship.
But the family saw Swan Lake at Christmas time and went to the circus yearly for several years by the gifts of that former fling of my mother in law. I cringe even more in retrospect.
Fast forward to a few days ago. My husband and I are still in the process of repairing the damage of his over ten year involvement with a woman who required his help watching movies and moving furniture and all sorts of honey doos. (I found these details out about three years ago. He had become quite adept at hiding his time with his “friend” after the initial first period when I regularly freaked out about his having to do things like come home late because his “friend” couldn’t figure out how to get to the grocery store on her own. I even had him move out of our home for a while during that time.)
A few days ago my husband again recalled how his mom had affairs with several married men. Yikes.
And yet on the overall she was a loving mom and devoted grandmother. Go figure. I was so blind sided by the depths of deception on my husband’s part.
The tentacles of damage go deep and far when people stray like stray dogs.
May God have mercy on us all in these days of immorality. In fact and indeed so many seem to have no moral compass at all to the point of being amoral. May our sufferings become a tool of learning for future generations. May the compassionate heart of the Divine bless and guide our ways.
Justme,
Wow! Thank you for sharing your experiences. I have had to read and re-read them several times since it hits on issues on so many levels.
First, I wish you and your husband all the best in working through things.
Secondly, your statement, “The tentacles of damage go deep and far when people stray like stray dogs” is …on the mark. The morality of today’s culture often excuses rights and wrongs all in the name of their intentions and whether people were made happy. On reading your statement, it hit me that that is the whole thinking of whores. They live life from the viewpoint that if it makes people happy, and folks have good intentions, then all is well. As long as the people have smiles on their faces for a while, they excuse any damage or destruction that may actually be going on. They do not consider the long term effects of their actions in moral terms of ‘right and wrong’, only in terms of “if it makes you happy”. The loss of a mainstream moral society is tragic.
Thirdly, your story reminds me that infidelity often runs deep. The more generations it goes on, the harder it is to remove. It becomes like a family heirloom passed from generation to generation and often surrounded with secrecy and lies. Families with a history of infidelity often encourage and support it all in the name of ‘being a good parent’, although what they consider good is based on keeping secrets and what makes you happy rather than any kind of objective morality. They are interested in making their child or grandchild happy rather than doing what is right for the marriage or taking stands on what is right and wrong. Taking a moral stand would risk alienating them from their children or others. That is too risky for them. So rather than doing the right thing, they opt for ‘what makes others happy’ and end up buying harmony, peace and loyalty rather than earning them out of respect and honor. Since they operate on good intentions, it is easy to be blind sided by these families.
Thank you again for sharing.