Wrestling with the unintended consequences

There are always “unintended consequences” with any affair. There will be jealous spouses and exes whose wrath will be stirred up. You’ll have to face issues that you never intended.

What starts as ‘looking for fun’, ‘hooking up’ or ‘just looking for some company’, is never just that simple. People always have baggage. When you hook up with them, you become part of their baggage, whether you wanted it or not.

Imagine if you considered the whole picture before the affair. Then you would have seen the jealousies, the psychotic stalkers on the fringes of their lives, the hurts, the hidden family members and insecurities.

Instead you focused on a hot body, a pair of legs or charming personality. The reality is that the lover has a family. They have baggage. They have issues. If they did not have issues, they would not have been open to an affair in the first place.

When you take things that don’t belong to you, there are consequences.

Part of those consequences are the jealous passions that others have. Bear in mind that when you have an affair with someone, once you cross the line into the affair, that ‘trying to be reasonable’ or ‘being logical’ or just being understanding are no longer options that you can use.

Once the line is crossed, logic, reason, and understanding are no longer options for you. Once you are in affair land, it is about passion, power, loyalties and revenge. Such relationships are always easier to enter than they are to leave.

If you are trying to get someone out of the affair, there will always be dragons to slay, trolls to appease and challenges to face. The lover does not allow the cheater to leave easily.

You’ll likely have to rescue them. When you go in, you will have to take them back. There is no ‘talking things out’ with them. They didn’t just talk your spouse into the affair, and there is not just talking them back into your arms.

Once passion kicks in, things are no longer logical or reasonable. You will have to use the appropriate force for the situation you are facing. You will have to adjust your methods for the situation you are facing.

Some of the consequences are long term. The imbalances the shock of the affair brings can put you into a permanent state of apprehension. You can find yourself ‘on edge’ long after the affair is over. One of the consequences includes emotional and mental trauma.

And you know what? The video “Dealing with Affair Trauma” gives you ways of calming yourself down and help your body through the unlearning of what made you tense up.

Best Regards,

Jeff

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