In recovering from the affair, you’ll often find yourself dealing with reminders of the affair. I use the term ‘ghosts’ in thinking about these reminders, since they often have a power of the cheater and others.
Those ghosts also have a way of haunting your thinking even when you don’t see them or come into direct contact with them. Just knowing they’re around influences you.
You can talk about the ‘chill of ghosts, these also have a very real vibe that you can sense.
Some of the reminders, such as lover’s gifts will need to be thrown out. When an object does nothing but generate reminders of what happened and generate unwanted feelings, you need to remove it, NOW.
Although you tell yourself that they are “just things”, their associations give those things power over you or your spouse. The damage they inflict isn’t worth having them around.
It is not by accident that some hardcore seducers often know the power of such trinkets in attracting lovers back to them. These are not just innocent objects. Especially those ‘personal’ items that have strong associations.
Those objects often work you over on an unconscious level. The discord associated with them is not worth having them around.
You may also have to change the route you take to work or the music you listen to. There could be ‘triggers’ in seeing familiar places or songs that activate old affair related feelings.
Although it requires making changes, the effort is worth it. A little effort at going out of your way is better than the emotional hell of reliving what happened.
Some reminders you may have to live with. These will not go away. In dealing with these triggers, you can use change. Change the way your home is decorated or the arrangement of the furniture.
By changing your surroundings, it can help to counter the effects of triggers that you still have to live with.
This is just one of the items that I cover in more depth in the video “Preventing Affair Relapse“, which has even more things you can do to prevent affair relapse. When you are past the affair, those little triggers can set off chain reactions.
It doesn’t take much to push a cheater back into the emotional abyss of the affair, or you either. Rather than take the risk, take action.
Best Regards,
Jeff
