A reader asked “What are the bad outcomes of people who swing?” There are many
questions that need your attention. At the basic level there are the outcomes related to the ‘hooking up’ with another couple, which is the focus of today’s post.
Swinging often brings many outcomes with it. First in looking for couples or people who swing, you likely find yourself engaging in Craigslist-type risk. You find others on classified sites, hoping that they are ‘safe’. Bear in mind that you are already engaging in risky behavior, looking for others who engage in risky behavior and hoping for a safe outcome.
There are many factors involved in the ‘risky’ behavior. You are assuming that those you swing with are disease-free. You assume that they do not have communicable diseases. This is definitely a gamble. You are not only making some big risks in the health area. You are inviting strangers into the most intimate part of your life and body.
There is also the risk of ‘dangerous behavior’. With an increasing frequency, people have invited dangers into their own lives by inviting people they met on Craigslist into their homes. In meeting with swingers from swinger ads, you are ‘hooking up’ with strangers, assuming that they will not hurt you, rob you or blackmail you. There is very little difference between this and anonymous sexual encounter dangers. Although the term casual sex is in vogue, this would be an even more casual form of casual sex.
Another risk is that of personality conflicts. Just because you make a connection with a couple who swings does not mean that you will ‘get along’. They may be people that you just do not get along with. Do you honestly want sex with people whose company you really do not enjoy?
One of the challenging risks to navigate is whether the couples that you hook up with swing at the level that you do. Are they soft swingers, hard swingers, are they into pain, hurting you, or like things spicier than you are comfortable with? Not everyone is compatible with the same level of spicy-ness in their sex lives. If you and your spouse are not comfortable discussing your sex life and want something more, will inviting those with incompatible levels of riskiness into your lives actually improve things?
These are the potential bad outcomes associated with the ‘hook up’ couple for you to consider.
If you’re struggling with the effects from swinging you may be experiencing relationship trauma. You don’t have to get drunk, take pills or medications to numb yourself out, and keep symptoms under control.
When you have been traumatized, there are reasons for you not being able to get over it’ and bounce back. Discover the tools, exercises and techniques you need in understanding and moving past what has happened to you. If that’s your situation, get your copy of the webinar on “Overcoming Relationship Trauma for Swingers“. 75-minutes. Immediate Access.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
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