Go South by Flying North!

 

Are you one of those people who are going south by flying north? Although going south by flying north often happens with many airlines these days, that same kind of logic does not work for affair recovery.

You may ask, “How am I going south by flying north?” I use the term ‘going south by flying north’ in describing you many of you are focusing your attention outside of your marriage rather than addressing the marriage relationship and how you and the cheater interact with each other.

It’s easier attacking the lover and viewing them as the problem than it is to face the man or woman in the mirror and realize that changes are needed in the marriage relationship.

You and your spouse may need to change how you talk to each other, how you handle conflicts, how the two of you work together and how problems are solved between you. It is often problems in these areas that motivate cheaters in finding problems outside the bounds of your marriage.

Although counselors who tell you “It’s not your fault!” are popular and may make you feel better. When you are talking about your marriage, and the two of you do things, you need to consider what you and the cheater are doing that keeps the problems going.

Looking at whose ‘fault’ it is may ease your conscience, yet doesn’t repair your marriage. Fault and blame often go together, and both focus on the past.

Focusing on the past often reveals where problems started and who started things rolling. If you want to live in the past, that may be helpful. The more important concern is what is being done now that continues the problems?

What are you doing that moves your marriage into a better direction?

Finding what moves your marriage in the right direction and doing it will do more to improve the relationship than concerning yourself with ‘who is to blame?’

Finding who or what is to blame, along with focusing on the lover are each forms of “going south by flying north”. They focus your attention on solving the wrong problems. Instead of moving your marriage in a better direction, you devote your energies to ‘attacking the wrong problem’.

Instead of such misdirection, consider that if you want to restore your marriage, take steps at changing your marriage relationship. In wanting to survive the affair, doesn’t it make more sense to strengthen you relationship you have your spouse instead of trying to outsex the lover or use them as your reference point?

Are you ‘going south by flying north?’

If you need help in redirecting your efforts, the ‘Affair Recovery Workshop‘ guides you in the direction of healing. Your marriage is worth healing and worth healing the right way.

Click the link, complete the form and within minutes you can start turning things around.

Best Regards,

Jeff

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