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When Frank was caught up in an affair situation, he wondered what to do. There was so IMG_1578r1much he wanted to say, but did not know how to talk to his wife about those things. He decided that writing her a letter would be the best way to express himself. It would allow him the chance to express his feelings, and do so without being interrupted. This way, he could tell her his side of what happened.  He thought that when she reads the letter, that she would understand what he was thinking and be aware of his feelings concerning the affair. Frank thought that he was taking a solid step at opening up communication.

When his wife, Sandra read Frank’s letter, her reaction was not what Frank expected. She did not react in the way he rehearsed it in his mind. Yes, he managed getting his thoughts across, yet his letter did not magically open up their communication. He did not feel any closer to Sandra. Sandra took everything Frank said out of context, and then began using it against him.

“Baby, let me explain!” did not make things better. It seemed that anytime Frank tried explaining what he wrote, that he found himself back peddling and reacting defensively. ‘Baby, That is NOT what I meant…I meant to say…” and so the discussion went.

In the next few days, Sandra read and re-read Frank’s letter again. Each time brought a new opening of the wounds and more hurt.

Things really spun out of control when their child discovered and read the letter. What Frank was trying to keep between he and Sandra was now a full-blown family matter.

Then, Angela, the snoopy friend of Sandra that Frank did not get along with found his letter and read it. Angela found a way to turn everything Frank intended into either a sexual joke or twist it way out of context. He felt like his whole manhood was ridiculed. The letter he hoped would improve communication has done just the opposite. It spread the problem and made the communication worse than it was before the letter.

The story of Frank and Sandra is an illustration of the dangers of using letters in dealing with affairs. Letters keep the issues alive longer than they need to be, and often fall into the wrong hands.

The moral of the story of Frank’s letter to Sandra is “Do not use letters in dealing with matters you need to handle face to face.”

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah


Nothing in this Work is intended to replace common sense, legal, medical or other professional advice. If your situation warrants it, please seek competent professional counsel.