When Frank was caught up in an affair situation, he wondered what to do. There was so much he wanted to say, but did not know how to talk to his wife about those things.
He decided that writing her a letter would be the best way to express himself. It would allow him the chance to express his feelings, and do so without being interrupted.
This way, he could tell her his side of what happened. He thought that when she reads the letter, that she would understand what he was thinking and be aware of his feelings concerning the affair. Frank thought that he was taking a solid step at opening up communication.
When his wife, Sandra read Frank’s letter, her reaction was not what Frank expected. She did not react in the way he rehearsed it in his mind.
Yes, he managed getting his thoughts across, yet his letter didn’t magically open up their communication. They didn’t make things better. He didn’t feel any closer to Sandra after she read his letters. Sandra took everything Frank said out of context, and began using them against him.
“Baby, let me explain!” did not make things better. It seemed that anytime Frank tried explaining what he wrote, that he found himself back peddling and reacting defensively.
‘Baby, That is NOT what I meant…I meant to say…” and so the discussion went.
In the next few days, Sandra read and re-read Frank’s letter again. Each time brought a new opening of the wounds and more hurt.
Things really spun out of control when their child discovered and read the letter. What Frank was trying to keep between he and Sandra was now a full-blown family matter.
Then, Angela, the snoopy friend of Sandra that Frank didn’t get along with found his letter and read it. Angela found a way to turn everything Frank intended into either a sexual joke or twist it way out of context.
He felt like his manhood was ridiculed. The letter he hoped would improve communication has done just the opposite. It spread the problem and made the communication worse than it was before the letter.
The story of Frank and Sandra is an illustration of the dangers of using letters in dealing with affairs. Letters keep the issues alive longer than they need to be, and often fall into the wrong hands.
The moral of the story of Frank’s letter to Sandra is “Do not use letters in dealing with matters you need to handle face to face.”
Your communication needs to be face-to-face, not in the form of letters.
If you are unsure what to do or where to start, the video “Help For The Cheater: Starting The Road To Recovery” will show you how and where to start, along with dangers you need to avoid.
Rather than making a mistake that takes you months or years to recover from, click the link, fill out the form and start your recovery within minutes.
Nothing in this Work is intended to replace common sense, legal, medical or other professional advice. If your situation warrants it, please seek competent professional counsel.