“You must forgive me!”

Have you or your spouse demanded that you forgive them? If that happened, I doubt that the situation ended well. Forgiveness isn’t one of those things that can be given on demand.

You or your spouse may have even resorted to using the Bible in your demands. One of you may have been holding the Bible in one hand, while pointing to some verse with the other while making demands about forgiveness.

When the Bible is brought out like a piece of artillery, the results bring more damage than healing.

Many marriages have been severely damaged by angry people holding a Bible in one hand, something else in their other and raging with anger in their heart. Honesty without love comes across as cruelty.

Somewhere along the way, the one using the Bible overlooked the directive in Ephesians 4:15 to “speak the truth IN LOVE”.  When the Bible is used as part of a demand to forgive, it is not being used in a loving manner.

Truth and love need each other. Using one without the other never ends well.

Demanding forgiveness never ends well either.

Forgiveness is a type of gift that works best when freely given. When forgiveness is given ‘on demand’, it often leads to later resentments forming.

Forcing forgiveness is akin to forcing other processes. Forcing it distorts the forgiveness and perverts it into something that ends up being unhealthy.

It is good that a value is placed on forgiveness, yet any good that comes is negated by the demand. Forgiveness can bring powerful changes to relationships. It has tremendous power.

The big mistake is that couples attempt forgiving without understanding what they are dealing with, or respecting the power it has. Some spouses hear or read about forgiveness, then like a child with matches, they end up playing with a dangerous force.

Forgiving too early is also problematic as well. As wild as it sounds, your forgiveness can be premature. Premature or demanded forgiveness can contribute to a situation where the healing is permanently crippled by forgiving under demands or premature conditions.

With many fruits, the ripening process stops the moment they are picked. In a similar way, the forgiveness process stops when it is forced.

When you allow forgiveness to happen naturally, it brings healing with it. Freely given forgiveness brings healing to both spouses. One reason for this is that when you give a person time to give their forgiveness, it allows them to work through many of their emotions and detoxify the emotional poisons in a natural way.

Forcing the forgiveness stops the detoxification of the emotional poison before all the dangerous parts have been rendered safe.

If you struggle with forgiveness or don’t even have a clear idea of what’s involved, the video, “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks” is for you. It guides you through what forgiveness is and step by step instructions on how to forgive.

It also clears up the differences between repentance and forgiveness. Confusing them makes problems worse.

Order your copy today and start recovering from the affair.

Best Regards,

Jeff

 

 

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