A reader recently posed a question regarding dating profiles and cheating. From the question, it occurred to me that the topic is not one which has previously been addressed on the blog.
Although some cheaters would argue that creating dating profiles is not cheating, I would beg to differ. I realize that technically when you create a profile, you are not having carnal relations. I realize that posting dating profiles is not legal grounds for divorce.
Looking for technicalities amounts to ‘loophole thinking’. That kind of thinking is poisonous to your marriage. It shows a weak commitment to your marriage along with sending the message that you are looking for ‘something better’.
What I also realize is that when you are posting dating profiles as a married spouse, you are trolling for trouble. You are opening the door for an affair wide open. You are also not valuing your spouse above all others. You are not cherishing your spouse when you advertise for other lovers.
Posting dating profiles is one of those activities that does not meet man’s definition of an affair, but it sure violates God’s definition of being a good spouse. You are not valuing your spouse and cherishing them when you are looking for someone else. If I have to choose between man’s laws along with its many loopholes or God’s laws and design for marriage, I defer to the Higher authority.
When you said your marriage vows, you were making promises before God. You were making a public pronouncement of your promises. You promised to love, honor and cherish one select person above all others and that you were proclaiming that you have a special relationship with them.
When you post dating profiles, you are also making a public statement. In this case, it is not a good statement. You are shouting to the world that “I am a Promise breaker!” , “My solemn vows are not worth a used car salesman’s word”, “I am an online slut, who will go to the highest bidder!” These may sound harsh, yet they describe what happens when you post an online dating profile.
Just considering posting a profile, you are making the mental mind shift of choosing an affair. You have chosen a path outside of your marriage. You are also saying that your marriage does not mean much to you. You no longer value it as special or your spouse as special. When you peddle yourself to the public, you are no longer special.
Sure, you can play games and tell yourself that “I am just testing things!” Sooner or later, someone will reply to your profile. When they take you up on your profile, what are you going to do then?
Best Regards,
Jeff
