An article entitled “People who cheat aren’t evil, they’re human” caught my eye. It was a lifestyle type article where the writer talked about her experience with cheating.
She also elaborated on how society currently frowns on cheaters and cheating. At one point she compared the perception of cheaters to the Joker character in one of the Batman movies. You may have encountered articles like this if you read popular publications.
On reading through the article, it struck me that she has a point, in that many cheaters are not intentionally malicious. Many are not aimed at destroying families and marriages.
In your own situation, the cheater may not have intended for the consequences and fallout that happened. You may have even been told “I never intended for any of this to happen“.
The cheaters are just unwilling to say “NO” to temptation, drives and curiosities. In continuing on, I realized that on many levels, she was decrying monogamy and justifying cheating behavior.
One of the take-aways I gained from the article was the realization that many people do not recognize evil when they see it. When you equate evil with maliciousness and characterize it as akin to the joker, your concept of evil is mistaken. Truly, maliciousness and destructive tendencies are evil, yet limiting your concept of evil to such images sells it short.
When you view evil as dark and sinister, you only see one side of evil and miss out on the beautiful aspects. When evil masks itself as beautiful, or filled with good intentions, you do not see the danger until it is too late.
In my mind, evil in it most sinister is when it appears as good. Evil is not limited to the lowest depths of depravity and hell. Evil often ventures into your home and heaven itself. When you start viewing anything that is not bettering your marriage or your lives as ‘evil’ you will start seeing the true nature of evil.
The author, clearly does not understand the beautiful side of evil. I suspect that many of you did not see many evils when they were in front of you until it was too late. Had you seen the danger, you could have taken preventative steps.
This is why I am alerting you to the danger of having the wrong image of evil. When you limit it to the dark, sinister images, you will not see the dangers in front of you.
That old flame that wanted to be friends with your spouse, or the work associate that seemed so friendly or some other threat to your marriage that did not show its true colors until it was too late. If you realize that evil often disguises as good, you can see the danger earlier.
The best rule of thumb is that if an activity or person is not strengthening your marriage or encouraging the two of you to work together better, your ‘evil’ alarm should give you a warning.
If someone jokes about affairs, makes light of infidelity or have cheaters as their heroes, it should alert you to something. If their favorite movies and shows encourage affairs rather than strengthen your marriage, it should tell you something.
“What about you?” If you’re a cheater and want to know where to start in making changes, the video “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery” is for you. It’s not very hard and will guide you through the hardest part of starting recovery.
Best Regards,
Jeff
