After reading a recent article on “chemsex“, which is popular in some urban areas, I shook my head and wondered “Do we have to do this again?”
In going through the article, it became clear that an old monster was once again rearing its head in a new way along with posing new threats and challenges for couples overcoming affairs.
The old monster of amphetamines saw rampant use during World War II. It was so bad that the Japanese government launched a massive rehabilitation program after the war focused on helping former soldiers stop their amphetamine use.
Japan was not alone in drugging out soldiers in order to have the fight better. It was also used by Germany, the United States and British soldiers during the war.
It’s one of those dirty little secret things that people do not often talk about. (No one would want to consider the idea that grandad became a meth-head during the war, so this becomes a secret that few people discuss).
It was often nightmarish getting the soldiers detoxed off of methamphetamine at that time.
Then in 1967, the poet Alan Ginsburg coined the term ‘Speed Kills’ in an effort to curb its use in the United States. The campaign enlisted the likes of Frank Zappa and Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane in getting their message out. Frank Zappa went so far as to say “Speed will turn you into your parents!”
After a multi-year effort, using many celebrities, methamphetamine use finally declines.
Now over a decade into a new century and the old monster of methamphetamine returns. The new return had associations with dangerous labs, yet has expanded its role into that of a party drug.
Meth along with other drugs, such as Xanax, MDMA and rhohibinal are currently in vogue in some circles where people gather with the intention of sexual activity, ingest the drugs and then BINGE.
Those chemsex binges have contributed to spreading of HIV and other STD’s among the thrill seekers who went to the party. Although you or your spouse may not have attended a ‘chemsex’ party, the lover may have. With the lowered inhibitions and increased risk taking that develops, there is riskier sex and a greater risk of affairs.
I only addressed one of the many drugs involved with ‘chemsex’ parties. The other drugs are mephedrone and GHB, gamma hydroxybutyrate. Each has their own dangers and additional risks as well.
Drug fueled sexual activity and affairs pose problems for any marriage where your spouse gets involved. The difference between the latest craze of chemsex and date rape druggings is that in the case of chemsex, it is intentional.
For your marriage, it means that if your spouse gets into chemsex, there was an intention to do so. It is one thing is your spouse was drugged and someone took advantage, where they become a victim. In the case of chemsex, the drug use is voluntary and intentional.
Anytime you add chemicals to your sexual activity, things change. Chemicals may intensify the experience, yet it also means a loss of self-control.
In the case of methamphetamine, some research is finding that the users brain becomes rewired. The users brain does not work like it did before the extensive use of methamphetamines based on findings from brain imaging done.
A chemically addled brain does not think, it reacts. (For more on the brain reacting rather than thinking you will want to listen to the webinar on Affair Trauma).
This means that when you or your spouse are ‘under the influence’, you are not making rational decisions, even if you think you are. Chemicals often make saying “no” or “that’s not a good idea” of little consequence.
The added danger of adding chemicals to your sexual activity is that it becomes easy for your brain and body to crave the enhanced stimuli rather than non-enhanced relations.
Th e chemicals disrupt your marriage relationship. What was once ‘normal’ has become ‘boring’. This is one of the dangers of the chemical lifestyle on your marriage.
In some cases, not only has normal become boring, you may find performance unattainable without the use of chemical or stimulants. In such cases, you can return to previous levels after detoxing from the stimulants.
Once the stimulants are out of your system, your brain requires detox in terms of its thinking. You need the drugs out of your system before you think clearly.
Once your mind gets clear again, then the two of you can work on improving your marriage relationship.
Best Regards,
Jeff
